Max's Dilemma
by Alec Trevelyan 006
Summary: Max is considering selling the diner to Jeff, but will he? Why is he considering this? Will he sell The Max? Can he trust Jeff? Or is there someone else who he can trust in his time of need? Read the story to find out all the answers and more.(I'm sorry, I suck at summaries, but I can assure you the story is good.) Please read and review.
1. Show Me Light

**Authors Note: I don't own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters. The characters belong to NBC and the writers of the show I have just borrowed them for my story. My story and the ideas in it belong to me. I also own my OC Melissa and some of the staff at The Max.(The rest of the staff will be named in a later chapter.) As far as I know Max was never given a last name nor was his age ever mentioned on the show. Virtual cookies will go to anyone who guesses what movie I got his last name from when I finally mention it. And since an age was never given for Max I am making it the same as Ed Alonzo's age was when he left the show.(Ed was about 24 at the time he left Saved By The Bell, so that's what age Max will be.) Virtual cookies will also go to those who can guess what other NBC show I am referring to in this chapter. This story was inspired by meeting Ed Alonzo after his show at Kings Island.(If you're ever in the Cincinnati area, head out to Kings Island and check out his show.) This chapter title comes from the Ramin Karimloo song Show Me Light.(Please check it out, it's a great song.) Later chapter titles will reflect whatever music I happened to be listening to at the time I wrote the chapter. Please read and review.**

**Chapter One: Show Me Light**

'_Ugh, there's that feeling again.' _I think as I throw the covers back over my head.

Every day for the last month I've woken up with a pounding headache and always feeling sick to my stomach. This all started after the fundraiser to save The Max, my diner. I wonder what the hell is wrong with me. This is not something I've ever felt before. The phone rings jarring me out of my thoughts. I throw the covers off me and reach over and answer the phone.

"This is Max." I say.

"Max, this is Mary, the nurse at your doctor's." The voice on the other end says.

"What can I do for you Mary?" I ask puzzled.

"I'm calling with the results of the tests you had the other day." Mary says

"And, what are they?"

"I'm sorry to tell you, but you have a brain tumor."

"Is it cancer?"

I begin to pray it's not.

"I'm afraid it is." Mary says.

I feel the blood drain from my face when she says this. Cancer? I'm too young to die.

I collect myself and ask, "What are my options?"

"You'll have to talk to your doctor about that."

"When can I see him?" I ask.

"Dr. Greene has an opening tomorrow at two, would you like that?" Mary asks.

"Yes, I'll take it." I say.

"Ok, we'll see you then."

"Yeah, bye." I say and slowly hang up the phone.

'_What am I going to do, and who am I going to tell about this?'_ I think as I get out of bed.

I get out of bed and get myself ready for what I feel is going to be the worst day of my life. I head out of my room and I leave the house. I get in my car and head to work. When I get there, there is someone standing outside. I get out of my car and walk up to them.

"I'm sorry, we're not open yet." I say.

"I'm not looking for food, I'm looking for the owner, Max." The guy says.

"I'm Max, and you are?" I ask.

"I'm Jeff, I saw that you were looking to sell the diner." He says.

"Let's go inside and we can talk." I say.

"Sounds good to me."

I unlock the door and we walk in. I quietly shut the door behind me.

"Have a seat." I say.

Jeff walks over to one of the tables and sits down. I walk over and take a seat across from him.

"As I was saying, I'd like to buy the diner." Jeff says.

"I'm not so sure I want to sell it anymore."

"Why?" Jeff asks puzzled.

I rub my temples and say, "I have many reasons for rethinking this, and some of them are personal."

'_I can't sell __**my **__diner to this clown.'_ I think.

"What are the reasons that aren't personal?"

"Jessie, Kelly, Lisa, Slater, Screech, and Zack."

"Who are they?"

By now my head is pounding again and my vision starts to swim. I blink my eyes a few times and give my head a quick shake to clear it.

"They're students at Bayside High."

"You don't want to sell this place because of a bunch of high school kids?" Jeff asks.

"They look up to me, and besides, I told you, I have personal reasons for not wanting to sell."

"And what are they?"

"They are none of your damn business." I say irritated.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pried." Jeff says.

"It's not your fault, I've been on edge lately." I say.

"Why?" Jeff asks puzzled

"I nearly lost this place about a month ago, and I keep thinking I still could."

"So, what does that have to do with me?"

"Zack and his friends helped me save this place, and I know they'd help me again if I asked, but I don't think they'd do that for someone they don't trust." I say.

"I can get those kids to trust me, what do you say, will you sell me the diner?" Jeff asks.

"I have to think about it."

"What's there to think about, sell me The Max." Jeff says.

'_God this guy is cocky.'_ I think.

"Let me run this by the kids before I make up my mind."

"Fine, but if I don't hear from you in two days, I'm leaving and I won't be back." Jeff says annoyed.

"Deal." I say and stick out my hand.

Jeff shakes it and gets up. He walks away and walks out the door. I put my arms on the table and cross them. I put my head on my arms and pray this is all a dream. My head starts to throb again and I know this isn't a dream.

"God, I know I don't usually pray, but I need your help. I need to know why you're doing this to me. Why did you give me cancer, and why did you send that jerk Jeff to buy my diner?" I ask no one.

Tears slide down my cheeks and I cry. I just sit there and cry while my employees get things ready around me.

"Hey Max, are you alright?" Someone asks.

I pick my head up and wipe my face with my hands. I see Melissa standing there. Melissa is about 23, a year younger than me, with hazel eyes, and curly dirty blonde hair, she's one of my best servers.

"No, Melissa, I'm not ok." I quietly say.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

"I don't want to talk about it here." I say.

"Where can we talk?"

"Come with me, we can talk in my office."

I get up from the table. As I do I see a napkin sitting there. I pick it up and see something scribbled on it. On it there is Jeff's name and phone number. I fold it and stick it in the front pocket of my jacket.

I walk away from the table with Melissa following me. We get to my office and I unlock the door. I open the door and Melissa walks in. I follow her in turning on the light and shutting the door.

"Have a seat." I say.

Melissa sits down on the chair next to my desk. I take a seat at my desk with a sigh.

"What's wrong Max?" Melissa asks.

"I got some bad news today." I say.

"What happened? Is everything ok with The Max?" Melissa asks concerned.

"The Max is fine, but I'm not." I say my voice cracking with fear.

"Oh my God, does this have anything to do with the guy you were talking to earlier?"

"Yes and no." I quietly say.

"What do you mean?" Melissa asks puzzled.

"I'm sure you know that I've been looking to sell The Max, well that guy I was talking to was looking to buy it." I say.

Tears I did not know were forming in my eyes begin to slide down my cheeks as I say this. I try in vain to wipe them away. I don't know what I'm going to do. I really don't want to sell this place to Jeff.

"You're not going to sell to him, are you?"

"I don't know what I'm going to do just yet." I sniffle.

"I know my opinion probably doesn't mean much, but I think that guy is a jerk. I don't like him and I can't figure out why." Melissa says.

"He's cocky and arrogant and personally, I think he'll run this place into the ground." I say.

"So, don't sell to him. It's that simple."

"It's not that simple Melissa."

"What do you mean by that?" Melissa asks.

"I have a personal reason for wanting to sell, but on the other hand, I also have a personal reason for not wanting to sell."

"What are your reasons?"

"Well, I don't want to sell because this place was my mothers and I want to keep it in the family. As far as why I want to sell, well, my health is not good." I say with a sigh.

"What do you mean your health is not good?"

"Before I tell you that, I need you to swear you won't say a word to anyone else."

"I promise, I won't tell a soul, I will take this to my grave." Melissa says.

"I have cancer." I quietly say.

"What?" Melissa asks shocked.

"I found out this morning, I have a brain tumor and it's cancer."

"Oh God, Max, I'm so sorry." Melissa says.

I see tears form in her eyes. They stream down her cheeks and land on her shirt. She tries to wipe them away in vain.

"Please don't cry."

"Don't cry, you're dying Max, why shouldn't I cry?" Melissa asks.

"Melissa, I hate to see you cry, you know that."

"Are you trying to tell me you love me or something?"

"You know I care about you, in fact I've cared about you since we first met."

"But caring about someone is not the same as love." Melissa protests.

"I do have feelings for you, but I'm not sure if I can call it love." I say.

"Max, we've slept together, how can you say you don't love me?" Melissa asks.

I shrug my shoulders and say, "I don't know. I've never really felt this way about anyone before."

"Well, I've got something to say." Melissa says.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Max, I love you."

I smile at her.

"Thanks, that means a lot to me." I say.

"So, are you ever going to tell Zack and his friends, or the rest of the staff you're sick?" Melissa asks.

I nod my head and say, "Yes, I'll tell everyone after we close tonight."

"I'll let the staff know they need to stay after close." Melissa quietly says.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"I guess I'll let you go now." I whisper.

I quickly lay my hands on my desk and cross them. My head drops onto my arms and I bury my face in my desk. I don't want Melissa to see the hopelessness and dread that's written all over my face. I feel Melissa's hand on mine. She gives it a gentle squeeze.

"Max, I'm here for you if you ever want to talk." Melissa says.

"Thanks, I may take you up on your offer sometime." I say my voice muffled by my desk.

I pick my head up and try to force a smile.

"You don't have to fake it for me, I know you're down."

"I don't think I can fool anyone." I say.

Melissa smiles and gets up. She stands up and turns to leave. She gets to the door, turns her head, and speaks.

"Max, I want you to remember something." She says.

"What's that?" I ask.

"Just remember, you don't have to face what you're going through alone. I'm here for you and I always will be."

I smile. Melissa turns her head back and walks out the door, shutting it behind her. I'm alone with my thoughts now and I'm thinking it might not be such a bad day after all.

**Another Author Note: Awwww, isn't that sweet? Max has a love interest. Will Max ever profess his love to her? You'll have to read the next chapter to find out.**


	2. The Dark

**Author's Note: I don't own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters. I only own Melissa(My OC), Ella(Max's sister), Jean(server at The Max), Amy(another server), and Beth(also a server). The story and ideas in it are also mine. In this chapter Max will confess his love to Melissa. He also has a deep dark secret that may shock some people. I have written Max as a cutter, I also made him out to possibly be anorexic.(He cuts his arms, legs, or chest to release pain, and I'm still not sure if I really want to make poor Max anorexic, but I need to have some excuse for why he's so thin.) I had always wondered why Max wore a jacket in the show, so I decided that he might be hiding something.(I got: burns, track marks, and tattoos from my coworkers.) I quickly dismissed tattoos since Ed Alonzo doesn't have any tattoos in real life.(To the best of my knowledge.) I just wanted to make the character of Max just a bit more complex than he was of the show. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please read and review.**

**Chapter 2: The Dark**

I walk out of Max's office upset and confused. I know I have to keep things together for both our sakes.

"Hey Melissa, what happened in there?" Someone asks.

I look and see Ella standing there. Ella is about my age with long curly light brown hair. She looks a bit like a female Max, although I'm pretty sure they're not related.

"Nothing." I say.

"Please don't lie, I know something happened." Ella says.

"Ella, I need you to gather the rest of the staff, I need to tell you guys something."

"Ok, I'll get them." Ella says and walks off.

I watch her gather the staff.

She comes back and says, "They're ready."

"Ok, take a seat and I'll be right there." I say.

Ella nods and walks off to take her seat. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly trying to calm my nerves. I walk out and stand in front of everyone. I see ten pairs of eyes looking right at me. I begin to wish Max hadn't made me tell everyone. I brush it off and calm myself.

"I'm sure you are all wondering why I need to talk to you guys." I say.

I hear yeahs coming from the staff.

"Max has asked me to ask you guys to stay after we close for the night." I say.

"Why?" Ella asks.

"He has something he needs to say to all of us."

"Do you know what it is?" Jean asks.

"He didn't tell me. All he said was that it was important." I say.

Naturally I'm lying through my teeth. I know damn well what Max has to say to us.

"I think you're lying." Amy says.

"Guys, I'm not lying, I really don't know what Max wants to say."

As I say this Max walks out of his office. I notice he looks a little green, almost like he's about to throw up. He walks over to me. He gets next to me and leans close.

He whispers in my ear, "Are they giving you a hard time?"

"Yes." I whisper.

He stands up and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Guys, Melissa isn't lying to you, I didn't tell her what I need to tell you guys tonight." Max says.

"What's going on Max?" Beth asks.

"I'll tell you tonight. Are you guys going to be there?" Max asks.

I hear yeah we'll be there from the staff.

"Ok guys, back to work." I say.

After I say this the staff gets back to work. I hear Max sigh behind me.

"Are you feeling alright?" I ask

He turns me to face him and says, "No, I feel sick to my stomach."

"Sit down and I'll get you some toast and tea." I say.

"Thanks, but I think I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yes." Max says with a nod of his head.

"Really?"

"Yes really." Max says.

He then pulls me close and gives me a kiss on the lips.

I pull away asking, "What was that for?"

"I'm trying to show you I love you."

"Do you really?" I ask.

Max gives a nod of his head as an answer.

"I knew it." I say.

"Knew what?" Max asks puzzled.

"I always knew deep in my heart that you loved me."

Max smiles at me and says, "I have a surprise for you later."

"What is it?" I ask.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise."

"I guess you're right." I say with a sigh.

"I promise, the surprise will be a good one." Max says.

"I hope so."

"Why?" Max asks.

"Because, I hate being let down, that's why." I say.

"I thought maybe you had another reason." Max says.

"No, no other reason."

"Well, I'll let you get back to work."

"Ok, I'll talk to you later."

I watch Max walk back to his office.

'_I hope he'll be ok today.'_ I think.

I make a mental note to check on him a bit later. I get through my shift without much hassle until the high school kids come in around noon. Zack and the gang come in and take their spot in their usual booth. I walk over to them with a couple of menus.

"Hey guys, can I get you anything?" I ask.

"Just you." Slater says.

"Sorry Slater, I'm taken." I say.

"Hey Melissa, where's Max?" Zack asks.

"He's in his office taking care of some unruly server."

"Max has never fired anyone." Kelly says.

"Guys, he's busy."

"Just let us talk to him." Jessie demands.

"Fine, I'll go get him." I grumble.

I turn and walk off toward Max's office. I get to his office and knock on the door.

"Come in!" Max shouts.

I open the door and walk in. I find Max sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. The black jacket he was wearing earlier is haphazardly thrown across the back of his chair. His red t-shirt is stuck to his back like he has been sweating.

"Are you ok?" I ask.

"I'm fine, I'm just thinking." Max says.

"Well, Zack and the gang are here, and they're insisting on talking to you." I say.

"Tell them I'll be right out."

"Ok, I'll tell them."

I turn and walk out of the office and head back to Zack's table.

"Guys, Max will be right out." I say when I get to the table.

"Great, we really need to talk to him." Lisa says.

"What's so important?" I ask puzzled.

"We heard a rumor that some guy named Jeff was looking to buy this place." Screech says.

"Guys, that's no rumor." Max says as he walks up behind me.

"You're not going to sell, are you?" Slater asks.

"I'm not sure yet." Max says.

"How long do you have to make up your mind?" Zack asks.

"He's given me two days to make up my mind and let him know."

"That's not much time." Kelly says worried.

"No, it's not." Max says with a long sigh.

"What's wrong?" I whisper.

"I'm not feeling too well." Max whispers.

"Hey, is something wrong Max?" Jessie asks.

"It's nothing, I'm getting over the flu." Max says.

I know he's lying to them. I know what's really wrong.

"You can't sell this place to Jeff." Lisa absentmindedly says.

"Why?" Max asks puzzled.

"He might try to change things, and we don't think that change will work." Screech says.

"It might, and it might not." I say.

"What do you know Melissa, you're just a server." Slater says.

"I know plenty about how this business works, my parents owned a diner." I angrily say.

"I didn't know that." Max says.

"I don't usually tell people that." I say.

"I think I've made up my mind."

"What do you mean?" Zack asks.

"I'm going to tell Jeff I'm not selling."

"That's great news." Kelly says.

"I do need one thing from you guys though." Max says.

"What's that?" Jessie asks.

"I need you to come here after closing time."

"Why?" Lisa asks.

"I have something important I need to tell you guys."

They all say they'll be there. They then get up and leave. Max walks away from the table and as he does I see him sway on his feet. I run over and grab his waist to steady him. As I do I notice that his shirt is soaked with sweat.

"You ok?" I ask.

"No, I'm dizzy." Max says.

"Do you need help getting back to your office?"

"I don't think I can make it there."

I walk him over to an empty table and help him sit down.

"Can I get you anything?" I ask.

"Just some water." Max says.

"Just water? Have you eaten at all today?" I ask puzzled.

I don't recall seeing him eat anything yet today.

"No, I haven't eaten."

"Let me get you some toast." I say.

"Fine." Max grumbles.

'_What the hell is his problem? Is he anorexic or something?'_ I think.

I walk off to get some water and toast for Max. When I get back to the table I find him slumped over it. I quickly set the toast and water on the table. I then grab his shoulder and give him a shake.

"Max, wake up." I say.

I get no answer from him. I begin to pray he's ok. I shake him again, just harder.

"Max!" I shout.

His head shoots up and I watch him try to focus.

"You ok?" I ask.

"I think so, what happened?" Max asks puzzled.

"I went to get your toast and water and when I came back I found you slumped over the table. I think you passed out." I say concerned.

"This has never happened before." Max mumbles.

I let his shoulder go and take a seat across from him. Max sits up and rubs his face with his hands. After a while his hands drop to his sides.

"Do you think it's because you haven't eaten?" I ask.

"I don't know, it might be." Max says with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Eat, and that's an order." I say pushing the water and toast in front of him.

I watch Max as he slowly eats the toast and drinks the water. I notice he's eating the toast like he really doesn't want it at all.

'_He __**must**__ be anorexic.'_ I think.

He finishes eating.

"So, how come you never told me your parents owned a diner?" Max asks.

"When I left home, I wasn't getting along with my parents. I guess I just wanted to put them and their diner behind me." I quietly say.

"Why did you get a job here then?" Max asks puzzled.

"When I came here I was out of other work options, and then there was how I saw you acting with the kids." I say.

"How I was acting with the kids?"

"Yes, you always act so nice around them even when they're mean to you."

"I've never let anyone who was mean to me get to me, even when I was their age." Max says looking away.

I know by the way he's acting that this isn't true.

"What were you like at that age?" I ask.

He looks back at me.

"I was a bit like Screech. You know, the outcast, and I guess in some ways I'm still like that." Max says.

"I don't think you're like that at all." I say.

"Sure." Max says with a sigh.

"I mean it."

"Melissa, look at me. I'm a diner owner who does magic tricks for a laugh."

"So, if you like doing magic, why didn't you become a magician?" I ask.

"As I told the gang when they asked me, I was much better at flipping burgers than I was pulling rabbits out of my hat." Max says.

"There must be some other reason." I say.

"The real reason is, my mother disapproved of my becoming a magician, and she wanted me to run the diner instead."

"Why did she want you to run the diner? Don't you have any brothers and sisters?" I ask puzzled.

"I'm the oldest of three kids, so my mom had to pick me, I guess." Max says with disgust.

'_He really must not have wanted to run the diner.'_ I think.

"Why couldn't your siblings do it?"

"My sister, who's a year younger than me does work here, and my brother, who's a year younger than my sister got messed up with drugs and is in rehab." Max says.

"Who's your sister?" I ask.

"My sister is Ella."

'_Now I know why Ella looks like a female Max. It's because she really is his sister.'_ I think.

"And she couldn't run things here?" I ask puzzled.

Now I'm really confused. If Ella already works here why couldn't she run things instead of Max?

"Would you go to a place called The Max if the owners name was Ella?" Max asks.

'_What the hell is he talking about? Is this a result of the tumor?'_ I think.

"What?"

"Nothing." Max says.

We sit there in silence for a few minutes. I watch as Max looks down at his arms. He seems to be staring at something. Scars maybe? I don't really know.

"Some scars run deep." Max mumbles while looking at his arms.

"Max, are you ok?" I ask.

He continues to look at his arms. He takes his right hand and runs a finger over the inside of his left arm. He's looking at his arm like he's tempted to do something, but what?

"Are you alright?"

"Even though the scars are faded, the pain still remains." Max mumbles.

I reach across the table and grab his hand asking, "Are you ok?"

That seems to get his attention. He looks up at me.

"Max, what's wrong?"

He lets out a long sigh and looks at his arms once more.

"I don't normally tell people this, but I'm what shrinks call a cutter." Max says.

"Meaning?" I ask puzzled.

"Meaning, I cut my arms and sometimes my legs or body to release pain." Max quietly says.

"When did this start?"

"It started when I was about the same age as Zack and his friends."

"Do you still hurt yourself?"

"Sometimes, it really all depends on the day I've had."

"When was the last time you did it?" I ask.

"A little over a month ago." Max admits.

"So, about the time you found out you were going to lose this place then." I say.

Max nods his head in response. I let go of his hand and stand up. I walk over to him.

"Stand up."

He stands up and turns to face me. I take his right arm in my left hand. I look at the faded and fading scars that run from his wrist to just above his elbow where they disappear under his shirt sleeves. I take my right hand and run my fingers across the scars. I feel Max jump when I touch them.

I release his arm and pull him close. I wrap my arms around him. Max takes his arms and wraps them around me.

"You don't have to do this anymore. I'm here if you ever want to vent." I whisper.

Feeling tears start to prick my eyes I bury my face in his chest. The tears form in my eyes. They spill down my cheeks and I sob into Max's chest, my tears soaking his shirt.

"I promise, I will try my hardest to stop. I don't want to hurt you anymore." Max whispers.

I pick my head up and look him in the eyes. I can see in them that it's going to be hard for him to stop cutting himself. I smile in the hope he's really going to stop.

I let him go saying, "I have to get back to work."

Max smiles lets me go. I turn and watch him walk back to his office. I get back to work trying to kill as much time as I can so closing time comes faster.


	3. All My Life's A Circle

**Authors Note: I don't own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters, they belong to NBC and the writers of the show. I have just borrowed them for my story. This story and the ideas in it belong to me. I only own Melissa(My OC), Ella(Max's sister), Erik(Max's dad), Max's mom(who I haven't given a name to yet), and the staff at The Max. This, so far, was the hardest chapter for me to write as I had to go into details of Max's cutting problem. I did a bit of research on self harm and cutting and I know that people have many reasons for their behavior, I haven't quite revealed Max's true reasons quite yet.(He gives a few reasons in this chapter, but only a few of them are true.) If you don't want to read what Max is doing then I would recommend skipping part of the beginning of this chapter, and some of the ending.(I'm sorry but I had to write it, I needed to give Max a bit more depth.) Also if you do read what he's doing and are wondering why he doesn't 'feel any pain' when he's cutting himself, well, I figured that he's probably immune to the pain. He's become so numb that he doesn't feel it anymore. Anyway I've given Max's last name in this chapter, virtual cookies will go to those who guess what movie I got it from. Chapter title comes from the Harry Chapin song 'Circle' and the lyrics are included in the chapter.(If we're not supposed to have lyrics in our chapters, let me know and I'll remove them.) Also, I'm not implying that Ed Alonzo(Max) actually cuts himself in real life.(As far as I know he doesn't. I saw his show at Kings Island and I was sitting about 4 rows from the stage and had a very clear view of his arms and legs near the end of the show and I saw no scars.) So, no disrespect to Ed if he happens to stumble across this story somehow.**

**Chapter 3: All My Life's A Circle**

I walk into my office and shut the door behind me. I walk over to my desk and sit down. Looking down at my arms, I can't believe I've just told Melissa my deepest darkest secret. I take my right hand and run a finger over the scars on my left arm. Most of the scars are faded, but some of them are still healing.

In those scars I feel all the pain that's happened in my life. My mom never listens to me, my dad ignores me, and my brother hates me. Melissa and my sister are the only people who care about me. I stop staring at the scars on my arms. I briefly think about calling Jeff to let him know what I've decided, but I decide to wait until tomorrow.

I open my desk drawer and fumble in it trying to find my stash of razor blades. I come across my walkman instead. I pull it out and put on the headphones. I press play and I'm greeted by Harry Chapin singing 'Circle'.

'_All my life's a circle, sunrise and sundown._

_The moon rolls thru the nighttime till the daybreak comes around._

_All my life's a circle, but I can't tell you why._

_The season's spinning 'round again, the years keep rolling by._

_It seems like I've been here before, I can't remember when._

_But I got this funny feeling that I'll be back once again._

_There's no straight lines make up my life, and all my roads have bends_

_There's no clear cut beginnings, and so far no dead ends._

_All my life's a circle, sunrise and sundown._

_The moon rolls thru the nighttime till the daybreak comes around._

_All my life's a circle, but I can't tell you why._

_The season's spinning 'round again, the years keep rolling by._

_I've found you a thousand times, I guess you've done the same._

_But then we lose each other, it's just like a children's game._

_But as I see you here again, the thought runs through my mind._

_Our love is like a circle, let's go 'round one more time._

_All my life's a circle, sunrise and sundown._

_The moon rolls thru the nighttime till the daybreak comes around._

_All my life's a circle, but I can't tell you why._

_The season's spinning 'round again, the years keep rolling by.'_

'_I feel you Harry.'_ I think.

I stop the tape. Who am I kidding? This music is just making me feel worse. I take off the headphones and toss the walkman on my desk. I reach back in my desk drawer and find my box of razor blades.

I pull the box out and pull a blade out of the box. I close the box and toss it back in the drawer. For a moment I just stare at the blade in my hand and wonder if I should be doing this. I stop thinking about it and run the blade across the inside of my left forearm. The blood forms on my arm and I feel my pain start to go away.

I take the razor in my left hand and run it across the inside of my right forearm. I watch the blood appear on my arm and I feel a sense of calm. I grab a few tissues from the box on my desk and wrap the razor blade in them. I quickly toss it in my desk drawer. Suddenly there is a knock on the door.

"Who is it?!" I shout.

"Max, it's Ella, can we talk?" The person asks.

"Yeah, just a minute." I say.

I grab a few more tissues and wipe my arms. I toss them in my desk drawer and close it. I grab my jacket from the back of my chair and put it on.

"Max?" Ella asks.

"Come in." I say.

The door opens and Ella walks in.

"What did you want to talk about?" I ask.

Ella shuts the door and walks over to the chair by my desk.

She sits down asking, "What is going on here?"

"What do you mean?" I ask puzzled.

"You wanting to talk to us after closing, and the fact that you passed out today." Ella says.

"I'll tell you everything tonight." I say.

"Why did you pass out? Are you not eating again?" Ella asks concerned.

"What does it matter to you?" I snap.

"Max, I'm worried about you." Ella says near tears.

"You have nothing to worry about." I say.

"Really?" Ella asks eyeing my jacket.

"Yes really."

'_Well, no, not really.'_ I think.

Hell, I can't even fool myself.

"If you're ok, why is there blood on your hands?" Ella asks.

"I scraped my arms working in the kitchen." I say.

"Max, don't lie, you weren't in the kitchen at all today." Ella says.

Man, I can't even fool my own sister. I slowly take off my jacket. I get it off and throw it on my desk.

"You want answers, here's your answers." I say sticking my arms in her face.

I see the horrified look on her face when she sees the scars running across my arms. I begin to wonder why I bothered showing her this.

Ella pushes my arms away asking, "You cut yourself?"

"Yes." I say with a nod of my head.

"How long has this been going on?" Ella asks.

"I've been doing it since I was 15." I say ashamed.

"Why haven't you ever told me?"

"I'm sure if I told you, you would have told mom." I say.

"If I had told mom, I'm sure she would have helped you." Ella says.

"You know damn well mom never listened to me, and dad ignored me. I'm the black sheep of the family. Everyone hates me." I say.

"Max, you know that's not true."

"It is true!" I shout.

"I don't hate you."

"You're the only one who doesn't." I quietly say.

"I highly doubt Mark hates you."

"He's just as bad as mom. He never listened to me either. Why do you think he's in rehab?" I ask.

"He's in rehab because he got messed up with drugs, not because he didn't listen to you." Ella says.

"I told him not to do those stupid drugs, but he didn't listen to me. And he did them anyway. So, it's all my fault Mark's in rehab." I say.

"No wonder you're so messed up Max, you're the one who never listens to anyone." Ella says raising her voice.

"How dare you? You have no right to say that to me!" I shout.

"I have every right to say that. You really don't ever listen to anyone!" Ella shouts.

"You're just as bad as mom!"

"No, I'm not!" Ella tries to calmly say.

"You're right, you're worse!"

I can't believe what's coming out of my mouth. What the hell is wrong with me? Is this a result of the tumor? I really hope it is because I never act like this.

"I don't believe you Max, you've changed." Ella says.

"Ella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that. I don't know what came over me." I say.

"I'm sorry too. I know you're still upset over what happened last month. I shouldn't have pushed your buttons."

"So, you forgive me?" I ask.

"I forgive you if you forgive me."

"I forgive you Ella, you know I can't stay mad at you for long." I say.

"And I could never stay mad at my big brother."

I laugh at that.

"I need to be alone for a few minutes." I say.

"Why?" Ella asks.

"I have to make a phone call."

"Ok, I'll see you later." Ella says.

"Later."

Ella stands up and walks out of my office. Once the door is closed I pick up the phone. I dial my parents number. After three rings someone picks up.

"Detweiler residence, this is Erik speaking." The voice on the other end says.

"Dad, it's Max." I say.

"It's been a long time, how are you?" My dad asks.

'_How am I? I'm awful, I hate my life. And how are you?'_ I think.

"That's kind of why I called. I'm not doing well."

"What do you mean? Is The Max in trouble again?" My dad asks puzzled.

"No, the diner isn't in trouble again."

'_Not like you care about that anyway. You didn't care the last time The Max was in trouble. You've never given a shit about this place.'_ I think.

"So, what is it?"

"Dad, I'm sick. I have cancer." I say with a long sigh.

'_I'm sure you don't care about that either. You've never cared about me much.'_ I think.

"You have cancer?" My dad asks shocked.

'_**Wow, you do care. Not!**__'_ I think.

"Yes, I found out this morning."

"Does Ella know?" My dad asks.

'_There you go again. Thinking only of the daughter you always wanted. She's the apple of your eye and I'm the screw up.'_ I think.

"No, I haven't told her yet." I say.

"Why?"

"I've had other things on my mind today."

"Well, since we're making confessions, I have something to tell you." My dad says.

'_I haven't confessed anything. You're the only one making any kind of confession.'_ I think.

"What is it?" I ask puzzled and annoyed.

My dad takes no notice of my annoyed tone and continues.

"I've only told your mother this, but you have a half brother."

"What? Who?" Is all I can manage to ask.

A half brother? Who's the unlucky kid to have my dad as their dad?

"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Screech Powers is your brother." My dad says.

"Screech, that's impossible. He looks nothing like you." I say.

"It's true."

"I don't want to hear anymore, let me talk to mom."

I don't believe this. Screech, my brother, nah, it can't be. Can it? But I'm pretty sure my dad wouldn't lie about something like that. A female voice on the other end of the phone brings me from my thoughts.

"Max, it's your mother." The voice says.

"Hi mom." I say.

"What's wrong?" My mom asks.

I'm not going to beat around the bush telling her, I'm just going to come right out and tell her.

"I have cancer."

"I'm so sorry honey." My mom says.

'_Like hell you are. You're never sorry about anything.'_ I think.

"Mom, is what dad said true? Is Screech really my half brother?" I ask.

"Yes, it's true."

"Does he know?"

"No, your dad never told him. And I don't think his mom told him either."

"I have to tell him." I say.

"You can't do that." My mom protests.

"Sorry mom, he needs to know."

"But Max…" My mom says.

"No buts, I've got to go." I say cutting her off.

"Bye."

"Bye." I say and hang up the phone.

I look up at the clock on the wall and see it's after closing time. I stand up and grab my jacket from my desk. I put it on and walk out of my office shutting the door behind me. I get out to the dining area and see everyone gathered there. I turn and face all of them and I hope I don't blow this.

"I'm sure you're all wondering why I asked you to come here tonight." I say.

I hear yeah come from everyone.

"I've got a couple important things to tell you all."

This is met with shocked looks from everyone.

"First thing. I know everyone knows I've been looking to sell The Max, right?" I ask.

Once again this is met with yeahs from everyone.

"Well, I had someone interested in buying, but I've decided not to sell. I can't sell to someone who might not treat you guys well." I say.

I get applause from everyone.

"That's why I've decided to make Melissa my assistant manager."

"What?" Melissa asks shocked.

"I want you to help me run this place, will you do it?" I ask.

"Yes, Max, I'll do it." Melissa says.

This is also met with applause.

'_Now for the hard part.'_ I think.

"Next thing I need to tell you is, I'm sick." I say.

"Max, what's wrong?" Zack asks.

"Guys, I have cancer."

Everyone falls quiet.

"How long do you have?" Slater quietly asks.

"I don't know yet. I'll find out tomorrow." I say trying to keep my voice from cracking.

Everyone just looks at me.

'_I don't want your pity, I don't need anyone to pity me, I'll be fine.'_ I think.

"I have one more thing I need to say. Melissa, will you come here please?" I ask.

Melissa stands up and walks over to me. She stands next to me.

"What is it Max?" Melissa asks.

I begin to pray this trick works. I push up the sleeves on my jacket, and wave my hands around a few times. While I have everyone distracted I pull a small box and a cloth out of the front pocket of my jacket. I place the box under the cloth and place it in my hand. I pull the cloth away from my hand revealing the box.

I open the box and inside is a diamond ring.

"Max, what's going on?" Melissa asks puzzled.

I get down on one knee hoping she'll get the hint.

"Melissa, will you marry me?" I ask.

"Oh my God, yes!" Melissa shouts.

I stand up and put the ring on her finger. She pulls me close and gives me a kiss. Everyone claps.

"Way to go Max!" Zack shouts.

"Ok guys, you can go now." I say.

Everyone starts walking past me saying congrats. Screech starts walking by and I grab his arm.

"Screech, I need to talk to you."

"I really need to get home." Screech says.

"I'll take you home when we're done."

"Fine."

Everyone but Melissa, Screech, and I leave.

"Melissa, what are you still doing here?" I ask.

"I need a ride home." Melissa says.

"Ok, could you wait in my office please?"

"Sure." Melissa says and walks off.

"What did you want to talk about Max?" Screech asks.

"I have something important to tell you." I say.

"You don't really love Melissa?"

"No, that's not it. I do love her."

"So, what is it?"I take a deep breath and let it out slowly trying to ready myself for what I have to say.

"Screech, I'm your half brother."

"What?!" Screech shouts.

"I'm your half brother. My dad is your dad." I say.

"That explains a lot." Screech says.

"What do you mean?" I ask puzzled.

"I've always wondered why I don't look like my dad."

"You know, that also makes Ella your half sister."

"Neat, I've always wanted a sister."

'_Of course everyone wants a sister, they never want a brother.'_ I think.

"I don't think Ella will be too happy when she finds out." Melissa says.

"You were listening?" I ask.

"It was kind of hard not to."

"What do you mean?"

"It's quiet in here, you can hear everything."

"I guess you're right." I say.

"Max, I need to get home now." Screech says.

"Ok, let's go."

Melissa and Screech walk out. I follow them shutting out the lights and locking the door. I walk over to my car and see Melissa and Screech waiting there. I unlock it and we get in. I start my car and we drive off with Screech telling me where he lives.

I drop Screech off at his house and head back to my place without thinking.

"Max, I thought you were going to take me home?" Melissa asks.

"It's late, why don't you just crash at my place?" I ask.

"Fine." Melissa says.

We get to my place and I park my car. We get out and I lock it. Melissa and I walk up to the house and I unlock the door. I open the door and Melissa walks in. I follow her in turning on the lights and shutting the door.

"Don't mind the mess." I say.

Objects from many different magic tricks are thrown about the room.

"What happened here?" Melissa asks.

"I got frustrated with a magic trick and had a minor temper tantrum."

"Max, what am I going to do with you?"

"I don't know."

"I'm going to marry you silly." Melissa says with a laugh.

I can't help laughing with her.

"Come on, let's get some sleep." Melissa says.

We head upstairs to the bedroom.

"I'll take the bathroom while you get ready in the bedroom." I say.

"Ok, fine."

We walk in the bedroom and I grab some clothes for bed before walking into the bathroom. I get in the bathroom and turn on the lights and shut the door. I put my clothes on the sink and look at myself in the mirror. My pale face can't hide the worry that's written on it. I shake my head and take off my jacket.

I hang it on the bathroom door and take off my t-shirt. I toss it on the floor and look at myself in the mirror once more. I see the faded and fading scars that run across my upper arms and torso.

'_How can Melissa love someone like me?'_ I think.

How will she be able to see past the scars? Will she ever really be able to see past them? Will I ever be able to stop cutting myself? I mentally shake myself out of my thoughts and finish undressing. I stand there in my underclothes and just stare at myself.

I see the scars that run down both my legs. They run from my ankles to my thighs. While looking at the scars I can't help but be reminded of the pain my life has caused me. I open one of the drawers under the sink and pull out a box of razor blades. I stare at them for a moment debating whether or not I should do what I'm thinking about.

I just give up and open the box. I pull out a razor blade and close the box. I shove the box back in the drawer and shut it. I sit down on the bathroom floor and lean against the door. I take the razor blade in my right hand and run it across the inside of my lower left arm.

As the blood starts to appear on my arm, I repeat the process on the inside of my upper arm. The blood appears and I start to feel a sense of calm, like I'm finally in control of everything. I take the razor blade in my left hand and run it across the inside of my lower right arm. I watch the blood appear on my arm and repeat the process on my upper arm. The blood appears and I finally feel calm and at peace.

As I sit there basking in my calm state there's a knock on the door. I quickly throw the razor blade away. The knock comes again.

"Max, are you ok?" Melissa asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say.

"Can I come in?"

I stand up and say, "Yes."

The door opens and Melissa walks in.

She looks at my arms and asks, "What did you do?"

"I had to." I mumble.

"You didn't have to do anything." Melissa says.

'_You don't understand, I had to do it, I can't help it. I need to be in control of my life and body.'_ I think.

I just hang my head in shame.

"Why did you do it?" Melissa asks.

"I couldn't help myself." I say without looking at her.

Melissa fills the sink with water. She grabs a washcloth from the towel rack and puts it in the sink to get it wet. She wrings it out and grabs my left arm. She takes the washcloth and starts cleaning the cuts on my arm stopping only to rinse out the washcloth. I jump when she places the washcloth on my arm.

'_It never hurts when I clean them myself.'_ I think.

Have I become so immune to the pain that I don't feel it anymore?

"I don't want you to have to do this forever." I say.

"What are you saying Max?" Melissa asks.

"If you want to call off the engagement, I'll understand."

"I'm not going to call off the engagement, I love you. I'm in this for the long haul." Melissa says.

I just smile at her. She rinses out the washcloth once more and then tends to my right arm. When she finishes she rinses out the wash cloth and sets it by the sink. She lets out the water and sighs.

"Much better." Melissa whispers.

She looks up at me, her eyes falling on the scars that run across my chest. I wonder what she's thinking right now. Is she thinking what I'm thinking? That they're ugly and unsightly.

"They're ugly, aren't they?" I ask.

"They may be ugly, but they're a part of you." Melissa says.

"I wish they weren't." I say.

"So, have plastic surgery to fix that."

'_Did she really just say that? Does she know that won't fix anything.'_ I think.

"That won't solve anything, I'll still hurt myself."

Melissa lets out a long sigh.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." I say.

"Yes you did Max, you can't fool me." Melissa says.

'_You're right I can't fool anyone. I can't even fool myself.'_ I think.

I let out a long frustrated sigh.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"You're fine, I know you meant well."

"I love you." Melissa says as she pulls me close.

She gives me a kiss on the lips.

I pull away saying, "I've got to finish getting ready."

"Ok, I'll meet you in bed." Melissa says.

She walks out of the bathroom shutting the door behind her. I finish getting ready for bed. I get ready and walk out of the bathroom. I walk into my room where I find Melissa lying in bed. I walk over to the bed and pull back the covers.

I get in bed next to Melissa and pull the covers over myself. Melissa turns off the light and moves closer to me. She snuggles close and puts her arms around me. I fall asleep with her arms around me.


	4. The Gang Reacts

**Authors Note: I don't own Saved By The Bell or any of the characters. They belong to NBC and the writers of the show, I just have borrowed them for my story. My story and the ideas in it are mine. I also own my OC's. I also want to thank my coworker Deb for coming up with the fact that Max and Screech are half brothers. I couldn't have come up with that without her. I also want to thank her for helping me come up with the plot twist that is coming up in the next chapter, I couldn't have fleshed it out without her help. There is no song title for this chapter because I couldn't find one that fit. Please read and review.**

**Chapter 4: The Gang Reacts**

**Zack's Point Of View:**

I sit on my bed with Kelly's head resting on my shoulder. Slater and Jessie are sitting on the floor along with Lisa and Screech. Jessie has her head resting on Slater's shoulder, and Lisa unbelievably has her head resting on Screech's shoulder. I look at the faces of my friends. The looks on their faces mostly match what I'm thinking.

I really can't tell what Slater's feeling, his face is a mixture of sadness and rage. Kelly sniffles next to me.

"Everything's going to be alright Kelly." I say.

"No it's not Preppie, Max is going to die." Slater says.

"He's not going to die Slater." Jessie says.

"Yes he is. Cancer kills people."

"Slater, Max is strong, he won't let this beat him." Lisa says.

"We need to help him somehow." Screech says.

"But how?" Kelly asks her voice cracking with sadness.

I wrap my arms around her.

"Why don't we hold some kind of fundraiser for him?" I ask.

"How are we going to pull that off?" Slater asks.

"I'm sure we can figure something out." I say.

"What are you up to Zack?" Jessie asks.

"We can use the radio station again to help."

"Do you think Belding will let us use it again after what happened last month?" Lisa asks.

"You're right, he probably won't let us use it."

"What about selling friendship bracelets again?" Screech asks.

"The last time we did that we butted heads and stopped talking to each other and Max had to get involved." I quietly say.

"But this time is different, we're doing this for Max." Kelly says.

"It might work."

I let go of Kelly and lay back on my bed. How are we going to pull this off? I close my eyes and try to think of a way to make this work.

**Kelly's Point Of View:**

Zack lays down on his bed and shuts his eyes like he's trying to think of something. All I can think of right now is poor Max. How did someone as nice as him end up with something so awful like cancer? I never thought someone I trust and look up to would end up sick. Can we really help Max?

Is Slater right, is Max going to die? Or is he going to be ok like Zack says? I have hundreds of questions running through my mind right now and none of them make much sense. I lay down next to Zack and close my eyes. I need to clear my head before tomorrow.

**Slater's Point Of View:**

I can't believe Zack is so confident that Max is going to be fine. I know better, cancer kills people. Max is going to die and we can't stop it no matter what we do. It's going to be hard letting him go when it's time. He's almost like another member of the gang.

I still remember what he told me last month: 'If you want something bad enough, find a way to make it happen.' There's no way I can find a way to make what I want happen. I don't want Max to die, but I can't figure out how to stop that. I look at Jessie for a moment. She picks up her head and puts it in her hands and rubs her face.

I begin to wonder what she's thinking. Is she thinking that Max is going to die? Does she know that's what I'm thinking? I lay down on the floor and close my eyes. I'm hoping I can come up with something by tomorrow.

**Jessie's Point Of View:**

I can't believe what Max told us. Cancer? Him? It's impossible. Although I do believe Max may have some other problem.

I only say that because I saw the scars on his arms. It was about four months ago, when Zack tried to get Kelly to go to the sweetheart dance with him. I was alone at The Max listening to the new Bo Revere single when Max came up to the table. He was talking about the jukebox and when he sat down across from me I noticed scars running across his forearm. I wanted to ask him about them but I started talking about Zack.

Maybe someday soon I'll ask him about them but for now all I want to do is figure out how to help him. I lay down next to Slater and close my eyes. I hope to come up with something by tomorrow.

**Lisa's Point Of View:**

Oh my God, Max has cancer. I'm shocked and stunned. I can't believe it I don't want him to die. He's always helping us with things and giving us advice on how to make the most of life. Life, it seems Max may not have much life left in him.

Maybe that was his way of trying to tell us he was dying long before he knew he was sick. Or maybe not. I'm sure it was more than likely something else. I pick my head up off Screech's shoulder and lay down on the floor. I need to clear my head before tomorrow.

**Screech's Point Of View:**

I can't believe Max is my half brother. I also can't believe he has cancer. Things like cancer shouldn't happen to nice people like Max. We really need to do something for him, but what? Friendship bracelets?

No, that didn't work last time as Zack pointed out. Max had to step in and bring us back together again. A radio fundraiser? No, that won't work either. We're not allowed to use the radio station after what we did last month.

Well, whatever we come up with will be good, I hope. I lay down next to Lisa and close my eyes.

**Zack's Point Of View:**

I wake up to my alarm and see Kelly sleeping on my bed. I look around and see Slater, Jessie, Lisa, and Screech sleeping on the floor. I shake Kelly to wake her.

"Kelly, wake up." I say.

"What?" Kelly asks.

"We need to get to school."

"Zack, what's going on?"

"You fell asleep at my house, along with the rest of the gang."

"We need to wake them up." Kelly says.

"Guys, wake up!" I shout.

Slater sits up and blinks a few times.

"What's going on Preppie?" He asks.

"You fell asleep on the floor." I say.

"Great, my dad's going to kill me."

"No he won't."

"That's what you think." Slater says.

"Zack, what's going on?" Jessie asks.

"You fell asleep at my house." I say.

"Do we have to go to school?'

"Yes." Lisa says.

"Why?" Screech asks.

"We need to ask Belding about what we're planning on doing for Max." I say.

This is met with silence. We get up and leave the house. We head to school in silence. We're at our lockers when we start arguing. That doesn't last long as Belding breaks it up.

"What is going on here?" Belding asks.

"Slater started it." Jessie says.

"I don't care who started it. All of you report to my office, now." Belding says.

"Way to go guys." I say.

"I did nothing wrong and I'm getting in trouble, thanks Zack." Jessie says.

"Oh, be quiet." I say.

We head to Belding's office.

"What's going on guys?" He asks.

"Well, sir, we have a problem." Slater says.

"What's the problem?"

"You see, a friend of ours is sick and we want to do something for him." Kelly says.

"Who's this friend?" Belding asks.

"It's Max." Jessie says.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Mr. B, he has cancer." I say.

"Zack, I'm sorry. I know how much you guys look up to him." Belding says.

We sit in silence for a few moments.

"What do you want to do for him?" Belding asks.

"We want to do some kind of fundraiser for him." Screech says.

"Like what?"

"That's what we can't decide on sir." Slater says.

"We wanted to use the radio station to do the fundraiser, and maybe hold it at the Max." Kelly says.

"I'll see what I can do." Belding says.

"Thank you Mr. Belding." Jessie says.

"You guys can go now."

We head out of Belding's office and head to class. Although I don't think we're going to learn too much today because we have so much on our minds,


	5. Resist

******Authors Note: I don't own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters. They belong to NBC and the writers of the show, I have just borrowed them for my story. I only own my OC's. The story and the ideas in it belong to me. I would like to thank my coworker Deb for helping me come up with the plot twist in this chapter. She helped me work out the details. Max had a twin sister that died when she was 18. She was killed by a drunk driver that left Max in a coma for six months. Chapter title comes from the Rush song Resist. Please read and review.**

_'I can learn to resist anything but temptation. I can learn to coexist with anything but pain.'-Resist-Rush_

**Chapter 5: Resist**

I wake up and look around me. This isn't my bedroom, this isn't even my apartment. I look next to me and see Max with his face buried in the pillows. That's when I remember the events from last night and how I agreed to stay at his place. Max rolls over onto his back and moans in his sleep.

I reach over and run a finger over his cheek.

'_He looks so peaceful lying there.'_ I think.

Suddenly Max screams in his sleep and sits up gasping for breath.

"What's wrong?" I ask sitting up.

"Nightmare." Max says as he rubs his face.

"About what?" I ask puzzled.

"I dreamt I told Jeff I wasn't selling and when I did he told me he went over my head and bought the place from my mom. He told me I was fired and when I refused to leave he shot me." Max says.

"I think you're overreacting. Nothing like that is going to happen." I say.

"I know nothing's going to happen, but my dreams have been so strange lately." Max says with a sigh.

I reach over and rub his back.

"What do you think it's from?" I ask.

"It might be from the tumor." Max quietly says.

'_I wish I could make this all go away.' _I think.

I continue to rub his back. I get to his shoulder blades and I can feel some scars through the fabric of his shirt.

'_How can he reach there?'_ I think.

Max goes to get up knocking my hand off his back.

"Where are you going?" I ask.

"I've got to get Jeff's number so I can call him." Max says.

"Fine, but you've got to come right back." I say.

"Yes mom." Max sarcastically says.

"Yes mom?" I ask puzzled.

"Sorry, you sound like my mom sometimes." Max says.

'_His mom caught him cutting himself?'_ I think.

"Your mom caught you?"

"No, although I sometimes wish she had." Max says with a sigh.

"Why?"

"I think if she had, I might not be this bad now."

"Or you could be worse." I say.

"You don't know that." Max says raising his voice.

"You don't know that either. If your mom had caught you then what? Would you have continued to cut yourself or would you have gone to the other extreme and killed yourself?" I ask nearly shouting.

"I don't want to die." Max whispers.

I take a deep breath and slowly let it out to calm myself.

"Then why do you cut yourself?" I calmly ask.

"I have many reasons for doing it, which one do you want?" Max asks.

"All of them." I say.

"I've struggled to fit in ever since I was a kid. I was never popular or I didn't look right. I didn't fit in with the nerds, jocks, cool kids, or anywhere else. I cut myself to rid my mind of the pain caused by being ignored or beaten up by bullies." Max says.

'_Poor Max.'_ I think.

"That's why you cut yourself?" I ask puzzled.

"That's not the only reason."

"What are the rest?"

"I've also had weight issues since I was a kid. I was always the fattest kid around even when I got to be Zack's age, I was still fat. I cut myself as a way to control what's going on with my body." Max says with a long sigh.

"I'm sure there's more, right?" I ask.

"Yes, but I don't want to bore you." Max says and gets out of bed.

"You're not going to bore me." I say throwing the covers off.

"I don't want to talk about it." Max says as he walks off.

He walks into the bathroom and slams the door. I quickly get out of bed and run over to the bathroom door.

"Max, open up!" I shout while pounding on the door.

"Leave me alone!" Max shouts.

I try to turn the doorknob but find the door locked.

"Max, if you don't let me in, I'm going to call the fire department and have them break down the door!"

I hear the door unlock. It opens and Max stares at me.

"Leave me alone." Max says through his teeth.

He goes to close the door and I grab it.

"I'm not going anywhere." I say.

Max lets out a long sigh and walks out of the bathroom. He walks into the bedroom and I follow him. He sits down on the bed and puts his glasses on. He picks up the phone and looks at what appears to be a crumpled napkin that he's holding in his hand. He looks at it for a moment and then dials the phone.

"Jeff, this is Max." He says.

I get ready for work while listening to Max's end of the conversation.

"Yes, I'm calling about The Max."

There is a long pause from Max while he listens to what Jeff has to say. I throw on my jeans in the time it takes for Max to answer again.

"I've decided not to sell. I've found an assistant manager to help me run things." Max says.

I pull my shirt over my head and listen to the silence from Max.

"Well, if I decide to sell again, I'll let you know. Goodbye." Max says and hangs up the phone.

By now I'm ready for work.

"How did Jeff take it?" I ask.

"Pretty well, although I'm sure he wasn't happy with my decision."

"He'll get over it." I say.

"I hope so." Max says.

"Would you have rather sold it to him?" I ask.

"No, I would rather run it." Max quietly says.

I see a far away look in his eyes like he's thinking of something or someone else. But who or what is he thinking of? An ex-lover? A lost child maybe? Or is there something he hasn't told me?

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Sit down and I'll tell you." Max says.

I walk over to him and sit down on the bed next to him.

I put my arm around him asking, "So, what's wrong?"

"I wasn't 100% honest with you yesterday."

"What do you mean?" I ask puzzled.

"Remember how I told you I'm the oldest of three kids? Well that's not quite true." Max says with a sigh.

"What's the truth?"

"Well, if you want to get technical, I'm really the oldest of four kids." Max says.

"What do you mean by that?" I ask.

"I have, or should I say, I had a twin sister." Max says his voice cracking with sadness.

"What happened to her?"

"She was killed by a drunk driver when we were 18." Max says.

'_That must have been awful for him. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a sister, let alone a twin sister.'_ I think.

"I'm so sorry." I say.

"Don't be, it's my fault she's dead."

"Huh?" I ask puzzled.

"We were coming home from a school dance. I was driving and we were hit head on by a drunk driver. The crash killed my sister and I was in a coma for six months. I didn't even know she was dead until I woke up." Max says breaking down in tears.

'_They must have been very close, otherwise he wouldn't act like this.'_ I think.

I silently take this all in.

"It's my fault she died. If I had let her drive, she'd still be here."

"You don't know that." I quietly say.

"Maxine wouldn't be dead if I hadn't screwed up and drove home. She'd still be here, she'd have her diner, and I'd be rotting in some hole in the ground instead of her!" Max shouts.

"Max, calm down." I say.

"Oh, Maxine, what have I done?" Max asks.

"Earth to Max, is everything ok?" I ask.

"Sorry, my sister can be a sore subject sometimes." Max says.

"Why?"

"The Max should have been hers, not mine. My mom reminds me of that every chance she gets." Max says.

"What?" I ask puzzled.

I don't really get an answer from Max, he just goes off on some sort of rant.

"Maxwell, you should be more like your sister. Why can't you be responsible like she was? Remember, you're the reason Maxine isn't here anymore. You screwed up and got her killed!" Max shouts.

"Are you ok?"

"No, I'm not ok." Max says with a sigh.

"Is your sister why you cut yourself?" I ask.

"Part of it." Max says.

"I know you gave other reasons for doing it, but it sounds to me like your sister is the main reason for it." I say.

"When my sister and I were growing up, cutting was a fad and many kids tried it to fit in. Well, my sister and I tried it to fit in. She tried it a few times and didn't like it, Me on the other hand, I liked the pain it caused, it made me forget the pain of not living up to my parents expectations." Max says.

"You enjoy it?" I ask.

Max gives a nod of his head as an answer.

"Why?"

"It gives me a sense of control. I can control what I feel and when I feel it." Max says.

I just shake my head. How could anyone enjoy hurting themselves? I just can't wrap my head around it.

"I need to get ready for work." Max mumbles.

He stands up and walks off. He walks into the bathroom and shuts the door. He comes out a few minutes later dressed in black slacks, a black the Max t-shirt, and black jacket.

"Ready?" Max asks.

"Yes." I say.

I stand up and walk over to him. We walk out of the bedroom and head downstairs. We leave the house and get in Max's car. We head to work. We get to work and start getting things ready.

Just before noon Max heads off to his office complaining of a headache. I work my shift without too much hassle until Zack and his friends come in. They take their usual spot and I walk over to them. I notice they look tired and that they have on the same clothes they did yesterday.

"What's up guys?" I ask.

"We were wondering if Max had found out anything yet." Slater says.

I remember seeing something about an appointment at two today for a Dr. Greene. Or at least that was the name scribbled on a piece of paper by the phone.

"I think he's going to the doctor at 2." I say.

"We'll just come back after school then." Zack says.

"If that's what you want."

They leave and my shift goes quickly until Max leaves for his appointment. He leaves and everything goes to hell. Food isn't coming out right at all.

'_Why did Max even bother to make me assistant manager? I can't run things right at all.'_ I think.

When Max gets back things start going well again.

"What's the news?" I ask.

"The doctor says I have six months if I don't have the surgery." Max says.

I can tell by the look on his face he's not being entirely truthful. I'm pretty sure he has less than six months if he decides not to have the surgery.

"And if you do have the surgery?"

"I have a very long life ahead of me."

"Well, that's good to know." I say.

"Yep." Max says.

No sooner he says this Zack and his friends show up. They head to their usual spot. We walk over to them.

"What's the news Max?" Slater asks.

"I have six months if I don't have surgery."

"And if you have surgery?" Zack asks.

"Years."

"Years?" Kelly asks.

"Yes, the rest of my natural life, however long that is." Max says.

"That's great news!" Jessie exclaims.

"Yes it is. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some things I need to take care of." Max says and walks off.

"What?" Lisa asks.

"He's got to tell his sister Ella." I say.

"Ella's his sister?" Slater asks.

"Yes."

"She can't be his sister, she's far too pretty." Zack says.

I chuckle at this. If only they knew how much I miss my own sister. I often wonder how she's doing back in Ohio.

"Do you have any family, Melissa?" Kelly asks.

"Not here. My family is all back in Ohio." I say.

"Why did you leave?" Jessie asks.

"I came out here to go to Cal U, but I decided I didn't like it and got a job here." I say.

Suddenly I start to feel unwell. I feel sick to my stomach. Am I pregnant? Or is this from worrying about Max?

"Is something wrong?" Lisa asks.

"I'll be right back." I say.

I walk off and head to the kitchen. I order a ginger ale and drink it. It does nothing to settle my queasy stomach. I head back to Zack's table.

"You ok?" Slater asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say.

"Are you sure?" Zack asks.

'_No, I'm not sure.'_ I think.

"Yes, I've just been so worried about Max that it's made me sick to my stomach." I say.

"You should be relieved now." Kelly says.

"I am, now are you guys ready to order?" I ask.

I get yeah from everyone but Jessie.

"You guys go ahead and order. I need to ask Max something." Jessie says.

She stands up and walks to Max's office leaving me wondering what's so important.


	6. All My Scars

**Authors Note: I do not own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters, they belong to NBC and the writers of the show. I only own my OC's. The story and ideas in it belong to me. In this chapter Max is confronted by Jessie about his cutting problem. Jessie also mentions a character I'm planning on writing into the story. Her name is Emma and she's a cutter like Max. Max and Emma will meet and form some kind of bond in a later chapter.(Maybe chapter 8. I'm not quite sure just yet.) I'm also revealing in this chapter Max is sicker than he let on and at the end he passes out.(I needed that to happen so I can write my 'dream sequence' into the story. The 'dream sequence' will show the bond between Max and his twin sister.) Chapter title comes from a line in the Daughtry song Start Of Something Good. Please read and review.**

_'And all my scars don't seem to matter anymore, cause they lead me here to you.'-Start Of __Something Good-Daughtry_

**Chapter 6: All My Scars Don't Seem To Matter Anymore**

I pace in my office trying to calm myself. I want to avoid temptation if I can. I stop pacing and take off my jacket. I hang it on my chair and sit down. I'm about to open my desk drawer when there's a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I ask.

"Max, it's Jessie. Can I talk to you about something?" The person asks.

"Yeah, come in." I say.

I really don't want to talk to anyone right now. I wasn't honest with anyone before. I really only have weeks left if I don't have the surgery. I'm honestly thinking about not having it so I join my twin sister wherever she may be. The door opens and Jessie walks in.

"Have a seat." I say.

She walks in and shuts the door. She walks over to the chair by my desk and sits down.

I cross my legs and ask, "What can I help you with?"

"Well, I have a friend who I think has a problem that they're trying to hide." Jessie says.

"What kind of problem?" I ask.

"Self harm. I think they may be cutting themselves."

I uncross my legs and drop my arms into my lap. I look down at my scarred arms. Has Jessie seen the scars on my arms? I don't think she or the rest of the gang has seen them, I usually try to cover them up. I look back up at her.

"What makes you say this?" I ask puzzled.

"They're always wearing a jacket. I've only seen them in short sleeves a few times." Jessie says.

"Who is this friend?"

"You."

"What makes you think I cut myself?"

"Max, I saw the scars on your arms about four months ago." Jessie quietly says.

"It's not what you think." I say.

"Don't lie Max, some of the marks on your arms looked new." Jessie says.

I remain quiet. I can't think of anything to say.

"Why do you do it?" Jessie asks.

"I wish there was a simple answer Jessie, but there isn't. I have many reasons for doing it, one of them being control." I say.

"Control?" Jessie asks puzzled.

"Yes, I need to be in control of what happens to my body and when it happens." I quietly say.

"You sound like Emma." Jessie says.

"Who's Emma?" I ask.

"She's a friend of mine. She's a cutter too."

"How do you know that?"

"She's always wearing long sleeves, and when she isn't, she tries to explain the cuts on her arms as something else."

"For some people, myself included, it's easier to cover the scars up or give some other reason for them then to try to explain what's really going on." I say.

'_Much like someone who has been abused tries to cover up or give other reasons for bruises.'_ I think.

"If that's the case, why don't you stop?" Jessie asks.

"It's not that easy Jessie. Even if I were to stop the reasons for doing it will still remain."

"So talk to someone about them." Jessie says.

"I can't, no one would understand."

"What do you mean?" Jessie asks puzzled.

"My parents still blame me for something that happened six years ago." I quietly say.

"What happened?"

"My twin sister was killed by a drunk driver." I say my voice cracking with sadness.

I still can't get over the fact Maxine is gone. She was the one person I could talk about my problems to without being judged. I can't do that now I have no one. Except Ella. But Ella and I don't share that same bond that Maxine and I did.

"Max, I'm so sorry." Jessie says.

"Don't be. Indirectly it is my fault."

"What?" Jessie asks.

"I was bringing my sister home from a dance when we were hit head on. She was killed and I was in a coma for six months. I didn't find out she had died until I woke up." I say rubbing my face.

"Are you ok?" Jessie asks.

"Yes, I'm fine."

My hands drop to my sides. I don't remember the accident that killed Maxine too well. I only remember bits and pieces of it, and even then I don't know how much is really me remembering it and how much of it is what my parents told me about it. I can't separate the truth from the lies.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. The thing is, I don't remember the accident that killed Maxine too well. I only get bits of it in my dreams or if I tell someone about it." I say.

"Were you drinking that night?"

"No, and I wasn't high either."

"So, why don't you remember?"

"I must have blocked it out because it was too painful for me to remember."

Jessie says nothing and grabs my hand. I jump at her touch. I'm not really used to someone comforting me when I'm sad. My mother never did that for me.

"It's ok Max, maybe you'll remember it someday." Jessie says as she lets my hand go.

"Maybe, maybe not." I say.

"It will happen when you least expect it."

"Thanks." I whisper.

Jessie looks at my arms. Her eyes fall on the cuts from yesterday.

"Those are recent, aren't they?" Jessie asks pointing at my arms.

"Yes, they're from yesterday." I say.

"Do they hurt?" Jessie asks.

"I don't feel it anymore. I've become numb to the pain I'm causing myself." I admit.

"If you don't feel it anymore, why do you still do it?"

"I do it because it makes me feel calm once I'm done."

"Max, you've got to stop or you could end up dead." Jessie says.

"I'm not going to end up dead, I know what I'm doing." I say.

"That's what Emma says, and she's nearly killed herself before."

"I've never done that because I don't want to die."

"Please stop, for me and the gang."

"I can't promise anything." I say.

My head starts pounding and I moan.

"Are you ok Max?" Jessie asks.

"I'll be fine shortly." I say.

"Are you sure, you look like you're going to pass out." Jessie says.

I don't say anything because I feel like if I open my mouth I'll throw up.

"Max, are you alright?" Jessie asks concerned.

I say nothing. My head starts to spin and I can feel my eyes start to roll back in my head. I shake my head trying to clear it. It doesn't work and I can feel myself starting to pass out.

"Jessie, get help." I say.

She runs out of my office saying, "Hang on Max."

I stand up hoping that will help, but it doesn't. The blood drains from my head and I sway on my feet. I try to steady myself, but it's too late. My eyes roll back in my head and I fall to the floor. The last thing I remember before losing consciousness is wishing I had told everyone the truth.


	7. Ripples

**Authors Note: I do not own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters. They belong to NBC and the writers of the show. I have just borrowed the characters for my story. I only own my OC's.(Ella, Maxine, Melissa, and the staff at the Max.) The story and ideas in it also belong to me. Virtual cookies will go to those who guess the other two NBC shows I got the doctor's name and the names of the two medics from. Chapter title comes from the Genesis song of the same name. Please read and review.**

_'Sail away, away. Ripples never come back. Gone to the other side. Sail away, away.'-Ripples-Genesis_

**Chapter 7: Ripples**

I'm handing Zack and his friends their orders when Jessie comes running out of Max's office. She runs over to me.

"Jessie, what's wrong?" I ask.

She takes a moment to catch her breath, then says, "There's something wrong with Max. He looked like he was about to pass out."

I set my tray on the table and run to Max's office with the gang on my heels. When I get in the office I find Max laying face down on the floor. I walk over and kneel down next to him. I give him a shake to try and wake him.

"Max, wake up." I say.

He doesn't stir. It doesn't even look like he's breathing. I need help getting him on his back so I can help him. Suddenly I remember that Kelly was a lifeguard and knows first aid.

"Kelly, come here. I need your help getting him on his back." I say.

Kelly comes in and kneels down next to me. We roll Max onto his back. When we get him on his back, I can see the shallow rise and fall of his chest.

'_At least he's breathing.'_ I think.

"We need to call an ambulance." Kelly says.

"Why?" Slater asks puzzled.

"His breathing is shallow, I can barely feel his pulse, and he may have hit his head when he passed out."

"Zack, please call for help." I say.

Zack moves away from the group and into the hall. I can hear him talking to someone.

He comes back a few minutes later saying, "Help will be here in 5."

"Someone go wait for the ambulance." I say.

"I'll do it." Slater says.

"Thanks."

I hear him walk away.

"Ok, guys, clear out." Kelly says.

"Why?" Lisa asks.

"We need the medics to get in here, therefore we need a clear path."

The gang quietly files away from the office.

"Thanks for the help Kelly."

"No problem. I'd do anything to help a friend."

"You really care about Max, don't you?" I ask.

"He's been there for us when we needed help or advice. I wanted to return the favor."

I watch her eyes settle on the scars on Max's arms.

"What are those from?" Kelly asks.

"You have to ask him that." I say trying to avoid answering.

"I'm asking you because right now Max can't speak for himself." Kelly says.

"Promise you won't tell anyone else?" I ask.

"I promise."

"Max is a cutter. He says he does it to cope with the pain in his life." I say.

Kelly falls silent. I wonder what she's thinking. Is she as shocked as I was when I found out? Or is there something else?

"I know, I was also shocked when he told me."

"If only I had been around when he was my age, maybe he would have had a person like him to give advice to him." Kelly says.

'_Sounds like she's a bit confused right now.'_ I think.

"What?" I ask puzzled.

"What I'm saying is, I wish Max would have had someone in his life to give him the kind of advice he gives us."

"I think deep inside he knows what his advice means to you guys. He's trying to prevent one of you from turning out like him." I say.

"I just wish he could have reached Emma before her problem started."

"Who's Emma?" I ask.

"She's one of our friends. She's a cutter like Max."

I say nothing. I can only imagine the pain Emma might be going through in order for her to cut herself. My thoughts are interrupted by Slater walking into the office.

"The paramedics are here." Slater says.

"Bring them in." I say.

Slater leaves. He returns a few minutes later with the medics. One of the medics is a tall guy with brown eyes and brown hair. The other is a lady with brownish-blonde hair. I stand up and walk away from Max so the medics can do their work.

Kelly stands up and moves next to me.

'_Everything's going to be ok now Max.'_ I think.

I watch helplessly as the paramedics work on Max. They pick him up to lay him on the gurney. As they do I notice that his body is limp like a rag dolls. I overhear the medics say something about Max not breathing.

'_God, please help him through this.' _I think.

I walk out of the office with Kelly following me. The medics take Max from the diner. I follow them out and watch as they load him in the ambulance.

"Would you like to ride with us?" The male medic asks.

I give a nod of my head as an answer.

"Come on then." He says.

I get in the back of the ambulance and sit down across from where Max is laying.

'_He's too still. He hardly looks like he's alive.'_ I think.

I can barely see his chest rise and fall with every breath he takes. I take his hand in mine.

"Hang on Max, everything will be ok soon." I whisper.

The medic who asked if I wanted to ride with them gets in the back with me and shuts the doors. The female medic gets in the front and starts the engine.

"Ok Kim, let's roll." The male medic says.

"Ok Bobby." Kim says.

Bobby sits down near Max's head so he can monitor his vital signs and we start moving.

"What's your name?" Bobby asks.

"Melissa." I whisper.

I feel like if I were to speak above a whisper all that would come out is a sob.

"Pretty name." Bobby says.

I just nod my head in thanks.

"Is he your husband?" Bobby asks.

"No, fiancé." I say.

"He's lucky to have a pretty girl like you." Bobby says.

"Thanks."

"Bobby, we're here." Kim says.

I let go of Max's hand.

'_God, please make everything ok with him.' _I think.

Bobby and Kim get Max out of the ambulance. I follow them out and into the hospital. I see a doctor who I guess is Dr. Greene run over to us.

"What happened?" He asks.

"He apparently passed out at his job." Bobby says.

"I told him not to overwork himself." Dr. Greene says.

"What's going on?" I ask puzzled.

"Didn't he tell you he only has a few weeks to live?" Dr. Greene asks.

"He told me six months." I say.

'_I can't believe Max is sicker than he let on.' _I think.

How could he do this to me? How could he not tell me the truth? My thoughts are interrupted by Dr. Greene talking.

"We need to get him up to surgery right now." He says.

He motions to some nurses and the come running over. They all walk off taking Max with them.

Dr. Greene stops and says, "Come with me."

I follow them upstairs and I'm shown to a waiting room. I take off my apron and toss it on a chair. I pull my t-shirt out of my jeans and start pacing around the waiting room. Every time a doctor or nurse walks by I stop pacing in the hopes that there's some news about Max, but each time I'm let down. I continue my pacing for an hour before Dr. Greene walks in.

I stop my pacing and ask, "How is he?"

"He's still not awake, but everything went well. We removed all of the tumor and he shouldn't need chemo." Dr. Greene says.

"Can I see him?" I ask.

"Yes, right this way."

I pick up my apron and follow him to Max's room. Dr. Greene leaves and I walk into the room. I sit down in the chair by Max's bed and take his hand in mine. All I can do for a few minutes is just look at him. There's a bandage on his forehead and the cuts on both arms have been bandaged, although I don't think they'll stay bandaged for long.

"Max, I know you can't here me, but I'm here. I'm not leaving your side until you wake up." I say.

My eyes grow heavy and I fall asleep holding Max's hand.


	8. Everything But Me

**Authors Note: I don't own Saved By The Bell or any of the characters, they belong to NBC and the writers of the show. I have just borrowed them for my story. I only own my OC's.(Ella, Maxine, Emma, Melissa, and the staff at the Max.) The story and ideas in it also belong to me. In this chapter I'm introducing my new character Emma. She's also a cutter like Max. They will meet and form a bond. Italics in the beginning of this chapter are my 'dream sequence', as it's all happening in Max's head. Chapter title comes from the Daughtry song of the same name. The beginning of the song and the chorus is what inspired this chapter. Please read and review.**

_'Far away in another place. I'd give my soul just to see your face. Found a note hidden in my suitcase. Of everything that you just couldn't say. How'd you know I needed that today? Where ever you are is where I want to be. Look around and tell me what you see. Everything, everything but me. No matter how many miles stand in between. In my heart is where you'll be. Holdin' on to all our dreams. With everything but me.'-Everything But Me-Daughtry_

**Chapter 8: Everything But Me**

_I look around me. This isn't my office. This isn't even my house. There's nothing but clouds as far as the eye can see._

'_Where am I?' I think._

"_Maxwell, is that you?" Someone asks._

_I turn around and see Maxine standing before me. But she can't be here, she's dead._

"_Maxine?" I ask puzzled._

"_Yes, it's me." She says._

"_Where am I?""You're in heaven."_

"_Am I dead?" I ask panicking._

"_No, you're not dead. It's not your time yet." Maxine says trying to calm me down._

"_Then why am I here?" I ask._

"_You wanted to see me, didn't you? Well, you got your chance." Maxine says._

"_I wish things hadn't happened the way they did. You should be running The Max, and I should be waiting tables. Just like we planned." I say._

"_That was our dream, wasn't it?" Maxine asks._

"_Yes, and I'm sure it would have worked."_

"_Don't be too sure of that Max." Maxine says._

"_Why? It's true, isn't it?" I ask._

"_You always were the dreamer in the family."_

"_I still am. I still have this dream of someone else running The Max while I wait on tables." I say._

"_That's just a pipe dream Max. That dream died six years ago. Along with any other dreams we had." Maxine says with a sigh._

"_I know, don't remind me."_

"_Are mom and dad still giving you a hard time?" Maxine asks._

"_Yes. They remind me every day that I'm the reason you died." I say with a long sigh._

"_That accident wasn't even your fault." Maxine says._

"_I know that, but either mom and dad don't, or they don't care." I say._

"_They'll forget soon enough."_

"_What do you mean?" I ask puzzled._

"_Don't worry Max, mom and dad are old. They'll forget about the accident eventually."_

"_True, but I wish they'd forget now." I say._

_Maxine lets out a long sigh. She looks at my arms. I'm sure I know what she's thinking right now._

"_You're still cutting yourself?" She asks._

"_Yes, and I can't stop." I quietly say._

"_I have a way to get you to stop." Maxine says._

"_What is it?" I ask._

"_I can't say, but you'll find out soon enough."_

"_If you say so." I say._

"_I do say so."_

_I just look at her for a moment to remember her the way she was._

"_I have to go now Max." Maxine says._

"_Don't leave me." I say._

"_I'll never leave you, I'll always be in your heart. I'm always a part of you."_

"_I love you."_

"_I love you too Max."_

_She gives me a hug and then disappears._

"_Maxine, come back!" I shout._

_I get no answer. I see a blinding white light that makes me shut my eyes._

When I open them again I notice I'm in the hospital. I look next to me and see Melissa sleeping in a chair. Her hand is wrapped tightly around mine. I try to remove my hand from hers, but I only manage to wake her up. She blinks her eyes a few times to focus and looks at me.

"Max, you're awake." Melissa says her voice thick with sleep.

"How long have I been out?" I ask.

"A couple days."

"Really? I didn't think it was that long." I say.

"I've been sleeping here the last two days."

"Who's been running The Max?" I ask.

"I put Ella in charge." Melissa says.

I shift in bed trying to get comfortable.

"When do I get out of here?"

"Dr. Greene said maybe tomorrow."

"Great, I can't wait." I say.

"You're not thinking of going back to work, are you?" Melissa asks.

"Yes, I need to get back to work so I don't go crazy."

"If you say so." Melissa says.

"I do say so." I say with a yawn.

"I'll let you get some sleep." Melissa says.

She lets go of my hand and stands up. She walks out of the room and I close my eyes. I fall asleep dreaming of Maxine. When I wake up it's the next morning. Melissa is standing at the foot of my bed with some clothes.

She hands them to me saying, "Get dressed so we can go."

I'm guessing that she's already signed the release papers or she somehow bribed Dr. Greene to let me out of here. I take the clothes from her and get out of bed. I walk into the bathroom and shut the door. I get dressed removing the bandages from my arms. I walk out of the bathroom and look at Melissa.

She walks over to me and we leave. We get in my car and she starts it and we drive to work. By the time we get there Ella and the rest of the staff have everything set up. I head to my office and walk in. I shut the door and walk over to my desk.

I sit down and start going through two days worth of paperwork. I lose track of time while I'm working. I just finish when there's a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I ask.

"Max, it's Jessie, I need to talk to you." The person says.

What could Jessie want? Whatever it is, it must be important.

"Come in." I say.

The door opens and Jessie walks in with another girl following her. I study the girl for a moment. She's about five foot ten, with blonde hair, green eyes, and she's dresses in blue jeans, black Chuck Taylor high-tops, and a grey Bayside Tigers sweatshirt.

"Who's your friend?" I ask.

"Max, this is Emma, the girl I was telling you about. She needs a job." Jessie says.

"Why?"

"I need a job so I can buy a car." Emma quietly says.

"Jessie, can you leave us alone so I can interview her?"

I notice Emma looks quite nervous.

"Sure thing." Jessie says and walks off.

"Have a seat." I say.

Emma walks in and shuts the door. She walks over to the chair by my desk and sits down.

"So, tell me about yourself." I say.

"What do you want to know?" Emma asks.

"Have you ever waited tables before?" I ask.

"I had a job at another place waiting tables for about a year." Emma says.

"Why did you leave?"

"The place closed, so I really didn't have much of a choice."

"Well, I could use a hand here." I say.

"Great, when can I start?" Emma asks.

"Today, but there is one condition."

"What's that?"

"You have to wear a uniform."

"That's no problem." Emma says.

'_Will she back out when I tell her she has to wear a t-shirt?' _I think.

"The uniform is a t-shirt, but you can't wear a jacket or sweatshirt over it though." I say.

I see her tense when I say this. I can almost see the wheels in her head turning while she tries to figure out a way to wear a jacket or sweatshirt over her t-shirt.

"But you wear a jacket over your t-shirt." Emma protests.

"I'm the owner, so I have to look somewhat professional." I point out.

"True." Emma says with a sigh.

"Those are the conditions, take it or leave it." I say.

"I'll take the job." Emma says.

"Welcome to the staff." I say and stick out my hand.

Emma takes it and shakes it saying, "Thanks."

I let her hand go and stand up. I walk over to one of the cabinets in the corner of the office and open it. I pull out a red t-shirt and shut the cabinet. I walk over to Emma and hand her the shirt. She takes it from me with a sigh.

"Put it on." I say.

Emma stands up and puts the shirt on the desk. She unzips her sweatshirt. I notice she's wearing a black tank top under the sweatshirt. She takes off her sweatshirt so she can put on the t-shirt. That's when I notice the scars running down both arms.

They run from her shoulders to her wrists. Her scars look like mine. If I were to guess I would say she's also a cutter. She sees me looking at her scars and goes to put her sweatshirt back on.

I stop her saying, "It's ok, I won't tell anyone."

"Sure." Emma says.

"I mean it." I say.

"Anyone who has ever said that to me has lied."

"I won't lie to you."

"Sure."

"I won't lie because I understand."

"What do you mean?" Emma asks puzzled.

"I'm the same way." I say.

"Prove it." Emma says.

I say nothing and take off my jacket. I throw it on my chair with a sigh. Emma then looks at my arms. I see her eyes tracing the scars that run from my wrists to just above my elbows where they disappear under my shirt sleeves.

"There's more then the ones you see." I quietly say.

"What?" Emma asks puzzled.

"There's more scars. I also have them on my upper arms, chest, and legs." I say.

"When did it start?"

"When I was about your age."

"Why do you still do it?"

"Because, my parents still make me feel guilty over something that happened six years ago."

"What happened?"

"My twin sister was killed in a car accident. We were hit by a drunk driver." I quietly say.

"I'm sorry." Emma says.

"Even though it wasn't my fault I still feel guilty." I say.

"You were close, I think that's why you feel that way."

"You're wise for someone your age."

"Thanks."

"Now, get ready." I say.

Emma puts on her shirt and I put my jacket back on.

"Please don't tell anyone." Emma says.

"I won't." I say.

Emma goes to leave my office when I stop her.

"I'll make a deal with you."

"What's that?" Emma asks.

"I'll stop cutting if you do.""Deal." Emma says and leaves.

I wonder if Emma will keep her end of the deal. Hell, I wonder if I can keep my end of the deal. I stand there wondering if this is what Maxine meant by she had a way of getting me to stop cutting myself. Maybe she's right. Maybe I can stop cutting myself if I put my mind to it.


	9. Working At Perfekt

**Authors Note: I don't own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters, they belong to NBC and the writers of the show. I have just borrowed them for my story. I only own my OC's.(Ella, Emma, Frank, Emily, Erica, Maxine, Melissa, Max's parents, Max's brother, and the staff at the Max.) The story and ideas in it belong to me. If anyone was wondering what Maxine looks like(from the last chapter), she looks like Max, just female. This chapter is from Emma's POV. Thanks goes out to my cousin who helped me work out some of the details of this chapter via FaceBook messages, I couldn't have done it without his help. Virtual cookies will go to those who guess what other NBC show I got the names of the cops from. And yes I know the word perfect is misspelled in the chapter title, but that's how the song title I got it from is spelled. Chapter title comes from the Geddy Lee song of the same name, it's off his only solo album My Favorite Headache. Please read and review.**

_'Working at perfekt, got me down on my knees. Nothing is perfekt, certainly not me. Success to failure, just a matter of degrees. Working at perfekt, got me down on my knees.'-Working At Perfekt-Geddy Lee. _

**Chapter 9: Working At Perfekt**

I walk out of Max's office and head over to the table where Zack and his friends usually sit. It's then that I realize that I left my sweatshirt in Max's office. When I get close to the table I see them talking to a woman who looks to be around the same age as Max. I get to the table and Jessie looks up at me.

"Did you get the job?" She asks

"What do you think?" I ask pointing at my shirt.

"I guess you did." Jessie says with a smirk.

She looks at the gal she was talking to before.

"Melissa, this is Emma." Jessie says.

Melissa turns to face me. I see her studying me. Is she looking at the scars on my arms? Or is she just trying to figure out if I'll work out? Whatever it is that she's doing, it's creeping me out.

"Nice to meet you Emma." Melissa says.

"Likewise." I say.

"I see Max gave you a job."

"Yeah." I say with a sigh.

"You'll like it here."

"I hope so." I say.

"Max wouldn't have hired you if he didn't think you'd work out."

'_He only gave me a job because he felt sorry for me.'_ I think.

At the mention of his name Max walks out of his office. He walks over to us.

"How are you feeling Max?" Zack asks.

"Better." Max says.

"Hey Max, how about some free food for my friends? Since we are brothers." Screech says.

Everyone including me stare at him.

"Sorry Screech, I can't do that." Max says.

"Oh come on, we're family!" Screech shouts.

"I can't."

"Screech, I think you should go." Melissa says.

"But…" Screech says.

"No buts, just go." Melissa says cutting him off.

Screech stands up and leaves.

"Sorry about that guys." Max says.

"Is it true?" I ask.

"Unfortunately."

"I'm sorry." I say.

"Anyway, that's not why I came out here."

"Why did you come out?" I ask

"Melissa, I need you to show Emma the ropes."

"I can manage just fine, thank you." I say.

Max says nothing and looks at my arms. I know what he's trying to tell me.

"Fine, have it your way." I reluctantly say.

"What was that all about?" Jessie asks.

"She knows exactly what that was about, don't you Emma?" Max asks.

"Yes, I know what you mean." I quietly say.

"Good." Max says.

This is met with a puzzled look from Jessie. The thing is, I know what he's doing. Max is keeping his end of our deal. He'll leave it up to me whether I tell people about the scars or not.

"Come on, let's get to work." Melissa says.

"Fine."

We get to work. Melissa shows me how things go around here. My shift goes quickly and soon it's time for me to leave. After my shift is over Max comes over to me.

"Do you need a ride home?" He asks.

"No thanks, I don't live that far." I say.

Max hands me the sweatshirt I left in his office. I take it from him and leave. I walk towards home. I get to my street and see a bunch of cop cars, but don't really think much of it. Once I get to my house I see what all the fuss is about.

The cop cars are all at my house. A female cop walks over to me.

"I'm detective Faith Yokas, do you live here?" She asks.

"Yes." I say.

'_What is going on?' _I think.

"I have something I need to tell you." Faith says.

"What's going on? Where are my parents?" I ask panicking.

"I'm sorry, but your parents are dead."

"What? How?" I ask shocked.

"They were murdered during a break in."

"No, that can't be." I say shocked.

I just feel sad and numb, I can't even think straight.

"I'm sorry, but it's true. Is there someone you can stay with?" Faith asks.

"Max." I quietly say.

"Who's Max?" Faith asks puzzled.

"He's my parents friend, but I don't know his last name."

"Do you know where we can find him?"

"He owns The Max."

She looks at my work shirt.

"Is he your boss?" Faith asks.

"My bosses name is Max, but he doesn't look like the guy my parents always told me about." I say.

"Well, lets take you to him." Faith says.

"Ok, fine."

Faith takes me over to her car and puts me in the back. She gets in front and starts the car. We drive down a bunch of streets until we get to a house I don't recognize. We pull into the drive and Faith stops the car. She gets out and opens the door for me.

I get out and she shuts the door. We walk up to the house and Faith knocks on the door. The door opens and I see Max standing there in his work clothes.

'_He must have just gotten home.'_ I think.

"Can I help you officer?" Max asks.

"This girl says you know her parents." Faith says.

"I don't believe I do." Max says.

"You were best friends with my parents in high school." I say.

"Emma, there's no way that Emily and Frank would have a 16 year old daughter."

"I'm adopted Max, my parents got me when I was 10."

"What happened to your birth family?" Max asks puzzled.

"My birth parents were only children, and both sets of grandparents died before I was born. And my birth parents were killed in a car crash."

"What happened to Emily and Frank?"

"They were killed during a break in." Faith says.

"What does this have to do with Emma?"

"She needs a place to stay until we can find her legal guardian."

"My parents had some kind of papers saying Max was to take care of me if something happened to them." I say.

"I can't do that. I'm not ready to raise a teen. Hell, I'm not even ready to be a father yet." Max says.

"I'll be out of your hair in three years when I graduate."

"Fine, I'll do it, but I'm only doing it for Emily and Frank."

"I'll leave you guys alone then." Faith says.

She leaves and Max shows me into the house. I walk into the house and see crap thrown everywhere. It looks like a magic shop exploded in the front hall.

"Come with me." Max says as he shuts the door.

He walks into the living room and I follow him. He sits down on the couch and motions for me to join him. I just stand there for a moment too sacred to move.

"Max, I'm sorry." I say.

"Don't be."

I walk over to the couch and sit down next to him.

"Since you're living in my house, I want you to follow my rules." Max says.

"Ok." I say.

"First, no wild parties; second, no boys; third, keep our deal."

"I can agree to everything except three."

"Those are the rules, take them or leave them."

"I can't promise I can keep our deal." I quietly say.

"You've got to try. I don't want to see you end up like me." Max says.

"What do you mean?" I ask puzzled.

"I've become so numb to the pain I'm causing myself that I don't really feel it. The only thing I feel is shame."

"Why should you feel ashamed about what you're doing? It's your life." I say.

"The thing is, no one understands why I do it. They don't understand how I can enjoy it or how I can have so much pain."

"I think I may be the only one to understand."

"But your parents didn't want you to be perfect, did they?" Max asks.

"Yes, they wanted me to have perfect grades and go to some Ivy League school."

"Nobody's perfect." Max says.

"I know." I say.

As I say this, the shock of my parents deaths finally hits me. I put my head in my hands and cry. Max pulls me close and I put my head on his shoulder. I bury my face in it and cry.

"Emma, I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about, it's not your fault they're dead." I sob.

"I wish there was something I could do." Max says.

"There's nothing you can do. You can't bring them back."

Max says nothing and just holds me. He rubs my back and I let out a hiccup.

"Just let it out." Max whispers.

Suddenly there's a knock at the door.

"Max, is everything ok?" Comes a voice from the outside.

"Everything's fine Melissa." Max says.

I hear the door open and Melissa walk in.

"What's going on?" Melissa asks shocked.

"It's not what you think."

"It's not what I think. Max, you're holding another woman." Melissa says trying not to raise her voice.

I pull away from Max and turn to where I heard Melissa's voice.

"Emma?" Melissa asks puzzled.

"Yes, it's me." I say.

"What's going on? Why are you here?"

"Her parents were killed during a break in. They were my friends and I agreed to take care of Emma if something happened to them." Max says.

"If they were your friends in high school, which I'm guessing they were, how could they have a 16 year old daughter?" Melissa asks.

"She's adopted."

"Didn't they have kids of their own?"

"Oh my God, Erica." I say.

"Who's Erica?" Melissa asks.

"She's my little sister, she's 6."

"Max, did you know about her?"

"Yes, I'm supposed to take care of her too." Max says.

"So, where is she?"

"I don't know. The cops didn't tell me." I quietly say.

"You don't think she's dead, do you?" Max asks.

"God, I hope not, I don't know what I'd do with out her."

"We need to find her." Max says.

"Let's go." Melissa says.

Max and I get up. We follow Melissa outside and head to Max's car. We get in and Max starts the car. We drive off with me telling Max where I lived. We get to the house and find a bunch of cops still there.

Max parks the car and we get out. We walk up to one of the cops. I notice his badge says Boscorelli.

"Excuse me officer, but I need help finding my sister." I say.

"What does she look like?" Bosco asks.

"She's 6 years, about 95 lbs., four feet tall, with brown hair, light blue eyes, and a scar on her chin. She was wearing a green and pink striped shirt, blue jeans, and green Chuck Taylors."

"That's a pretty detailed description." Max says.

"I remember details, maybe too well." I say.

"At least with what you gave them, they might be able to find her."

"We didn't find a child's body in the house, maybe she was kidnapped." Bosco says.

"That can't be, we killed both suspects." Another cop says.

"So, where's Erica?" I ask.

"Does she have any friends?" Bosco asks.

"I think she's friends with one of Kelly's siblings." I say.

"Zack's girlfriend?" Melissa asks.

"Yes."

"Let's go to Kelly's house and see if we can find her." Max says.

We thank the cops and head to Max's car. We get in and drive off to Kelly's house. Max parks the car and we get out. We walk up to the house. Max knocks on the door.

The door opens and I see Kelly standing there looking a bit confused.

"Emma, Max, Melissa, what's going on?" Kelly asks puzzled.

"Erica's missing, have you seen her?" I ask.

"Yes, she's here, do you want me to get her?"

"Yes." I say.

"Ok, I'll be right back." Kelly says and walks off.

She comes back a few minutes later with Erica.

"Emma, what's going on? Mommy and daddy said I could stay here." Erica says.

"Erica, mommy and daddy asked me to come get you." I say.

"No they didn't."

"Look, just go with Max and Melissa, I have to tell Kelly something."

"Fine." Erica grumbles.

She walks off with Max and Melissa.

"What's wrong? What didn't you want to say in front of Erica?" Kelly asks.

"My parents were killed during a break in." I say.

"Erica doesn't know yet, does she?"

"No, and I don't know how to tell her."

"You'll find a way." Kelly says.

"I could just have Max tell her."

"You should be the one to tell her, she is your sister."

"True." I say with a sigh.

"Just break it to her gently. She's 6, so she won't understand if you use big words."

"I know, but I really don't want to tell her."

"She's going to find out sooner or later, and I'm sure she'd much rather hear it from you."

"You're right." I say.

"I know I'm right, now why don't you go home and get some rest." Kelly says.

"I don't know if I can get any rest."

"I'm sure you will eventually."

"You're right, good night."

"Good night." Kelly says and shuts the door.

I walk back to Max's car wondering how I'm going to tell Erica that mom and dad are dead. I get back to the car and get in. I shut the door and we drive off. We head back to Max's house. We get there and Max parks the car.

We get out and head up to the house. Max unlocks the door and we follow him into the house. We head to the living room. Melissa and Max sit down on the couch and Erica and I take a seat on the couch across from them. I turn to face Erica.

"Erica, there's something I need to tell you." I say.

"What?" Erica asks.

I don't know how I'm going to tell her that our parents are dead.

"Mom and dad are dead. Some bad people broke into our house and killed them." I quietly say.

Erica says nothing and starts to cry. Suddenly I feel like this is all my fault. I feel like I'm the one responsible for my parents deaths even though I know I'm not.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"Erica, why don't I show you to your room and we can talk." Melissa says.

"Ok." Erica sniffles.

She gets up and walks over to Melissa. Melissa stands up and walks with Erica out of the room. I'm now alone with Max.

"Let's talk about this." Max says.

"I don't want to talk about this Max, I want my parents back!" I shout.

"They're not coming back Emma." Max says trying to calm me down.

"I can't believe the only people that ever cared about me are dead. This shouldn't have happened." I say.

"What about your birth parents? Didn't they care about you?" Max asks puzzled.

"I don't really remember them. They died when I was 5."

"So, you were in the system for five years before Emily and Frank got you, is that right?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Why did they adopt you?"

"According to my dad, they were having trouble getting pregnant, so they decided to adopt."

"But why adopt a 10 year old? Why not adopt a baby?"

"They adopted me because when they saw me they fell in love with me. If only they knew how much of a handful I'd end up being." I quietly say.

"Your cutting?" Max asks.

"That and the fact I've tried to take my own life."

"Why did you try to kill yourself?"

"It was an accident. I misjudged the depth of a cut."

"So you went too far." Max says.

"Yes, but I didn't mean to." I say.

"One day you're going to go too far and end up dead." Max says.

"Don't tell me you've never accidentally gone too far before."

"I never have, and I don't intend to."

I've had enough of this shit. I don't want to hear what Max is saying, even though I know it's true.

"I don't want talk about this anymore, I'm tired." I say faking a yawn.

"Come on, I'll show you to your room." Max says.

We stand up and walk out of the room. I follow him upstairs. He leads me to a door at the end of the hall. He opens the door and we walk in. Max turns on the light and I take a look around the room.

It's a medium sized room with dark green walls and dark green carpet. There's a white dresser in the far left corner of the room with some pictures on the top. There's a door on the right wall that I'm guessing is a closet. I guess this room will have to do.

"This should do, thanks Max." I say.

"There's some clothes in the dresser and closet if you want to use them." Max says.

"How could you possibly know my size?" I ask puzzled.

"I don't. The clothes were my sister's. My parents left them here when they moved."

"This was your sister's room?"

"No, my sister and I shared a room. This room was my brother's."

"Oh." I say a bit embarrassed.

"Well, goodnight." Max says and walks out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

I head over to the dresser and pull some clothes out. I change and get into bed. I lay down with a sigh and close my eyes. I fall asleep thinking about how everything went wrong today.


	10. Dreams Go By

**Authors Note: I don't own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters. They belong to NBC and the writers of the show, I have just borrowed them for my story. I only own my OC's. The story and ideas in it are mine. I think I've finally brought this story to where I want it in the series, this chapter takes place during the episode 'Jessie's Song'. I have also revealed that Max has another secret. Max was abused as a child and that has also fueled his cutting problem. Chapter title comes from the Harry Chapin song of the same name.**

_'And so you and I, we watched our years go by. We watched our sweet dreams fly far away, far away. But maybe someday, I don't know when. But we will dream again. And we'll be happy then, till our time just drifts away.'-Harry Chapin-Dreams Go By_

**Chapter 10: Dreams Go By**

I walk out of the room where I left Emma with a sigh. I head to my room passing the room where Melissa took Erica. I hear crying coming from behind the door.

'_I hope she's ok.'_ I think.

I get to my room and open the door. I walk in and walk over to my bed. Sitting down on the bed with a sigh, I put my head in my hands. How am I going to deal with a teenager? I'm barely out of that stage in my life myself.

It was only 6 years ago that I was a carefree 18 year old trying to plan out my life. I was going to go to Cal U to study restaurant management, but my plans fell through that May when I was bringing my sister home from the prom. That night put a stop to every dream I ever had up to that point. My sister was killed and I was in a coma for the next six months. I don't even know how I survived that accident.

From the pictures the cops showed me, I shouldn't have lived. I should have been dead too. I'm still trying to figure out how I lived when my sister died. Was it fate? Was it destiny? Was it the fact that I may have had an angel watching over me? Or was it something else? Whatever it was, I'm still trying to figure it out.

I run my hands through my hair and sigh. I feel the urge to cut myself creeping up in the back of my mind. It's taunting me while I try to resist. I don't want to break my deal with Emma. She's the only reason I'm not giving into that urge.

Well, maybe not the only reason. My other reason is Melissa. I don't want to hurt her by giving into temptation. I already hurt her once by doing that. I get up off the bed and walk into the bathroom.

I turn on the light and shut the door. I walk over to the sink and run the cold water. I take off my glasses and set them on the sink. I stick my hands under the cold water and splash some on my face to try and get the thought of cutting myself out of my mind. I turn off the water and dry my face.

I undress and put on my pajamas and glasses. I open the door and walk out of the bathroom shutting off the light. I walk into the bedroom and over to my bed. I pull back the covers and get into bed. I take off my glasses and set them on the table by the bed.

I cover myself and close my eyes. I lay there thinking about how I'm going to raise two children when I'm not even remotely ready to be a father. I don't even know what I'd do if Melissa told me she was pregnant. I think I might freak out. I'm attempting to sleep when I hear someone walk into the room.

They walk into the bathroom and shut the door. I hear the water running in the sink. Soon it stops and the bathroom door opens. The person who was in there walks out and walks over to the bed. They pull back the covers and get in bed next to me.

They pull the covers over themselves and I hear the light go out.

"Max, are you awake?" They ask.

I open my eyes and roll over to face them.

"Yes." I say.

"There's something I need to tell you."

"Melissa?" I ask puzzled.

"Yes." She says.

"I thought maybe you were Emma." I say.

"Why?" Melissa asks.

"I thought maybe she was afraid to sleep."

"Oh." Melissa says.

"So, what did you need to tell me?" I ask.

"Max, I'm pregnant."

"What? When did you find out?"

"A couple days ago. I'm three months along."

A baby? I can't believe this. I don't really know if I'm ready for that. I don't even know if I want kids. At least not after everything I've been through in my short life. I remain quiet because I can't think of anything to say.

"Max, say something, anything." Melissa says.

"I'm going to be a dad." I say shocked.

"Yes. You'll make a great dad."

"I'm sure I will, but right now this is a shock." I say.

"I'll let you get some rest. We can talk about this tomorrow."

"Yeah, goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I lay there for a few minutes and make sure Melissa's asleep. When I'm sure that she is, I get out of bed. I walk out of the room and head downstairs. I walk into the living room and start pacing. I can't tell Melissa I don't want kids.

Why don't I want kids you ask? The answer is simple. I don't want kids because I'm afraid I'm going to end up like my dad. What was my dad like? My dad used to abuse me and that's why I don't want kids.

I'm afraid I'm going to be like him and abuse my own kids. That's part of the reason why I cut myself. I figured since I was already covering the bruises my dad left, it would be easy to cut myself and hide it. I continue my pacing. Do I tell Melissa the truth, or do I hide it?

I know she'll find out sooner or later, although I'd really not like her to find out at all. I stop pacing and walk over to the couch. I sit down on the couch with a sigh. I run my hands through my hair trying to stop my mind from racing so I can sleep. I give up and lay down on the couch.

I close my eyes and finally fall asleep. I wake up the next morning to someone shaking me. I open my eyes and see a blurry figure standing before me.

"Who's there?" I ask.

"Max, it's Melissa." They say.

"What do you want?" I ask puzzled.

"It's almost time to go to work." Melissa says.

I sit up with a groan.

"That's what you get for sleeping on the couch."

"It's not just that, I had a bad night." I say.

"Thinking about the baby?" Melissa asks.

"Yes." I say and rub my face.

"Good or bad?"

"I don't want to talk about it." I say and stand up.

I start to walk out of the room when Melissa grabs my arm. I tense and wait for her to start hitting me. I mentally shake myself out of the thoughts of my past and freak out.

I pull my arm out of her hand shouting, "Let me go!"

"Max, what's wrong?" Melissa asks.

"Don't touch me." I say.

"Why?" Melissa asks puzzled.

"Just leave me alone." I say and walk off.

I walk upstairs and head into the bedroom. I walk over to the table by the bed and pick up my glasses. I put them on with a sigh and head into the bathroom. I shut the door and get myself ready for work. I just finish getting ready when there's a knock on the door.

"Max, are you alright?" Melissa asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say and open the door.

"I got worried when you walked off like that." Melissa says.

"I'm fine, I'm just tired." I say.

"So, what was that little outburst about?" Melissa asks.

"I don't want to talk about it." I say and walk past her.

I head into the bedroom when Melissa grabs my arm again. This really makes me go off the deep end. I just lose it and yell at poor Melissa.

I pull my arm out of her hand shouting, "I thought I told you not to touch me!"

"Max, what the hell is going on?" Melissa asks.

I turn to face her with a long sigh. I see the worry that's written on her face.

"I didn't want to tell you this, but my dad used to beat me when I was a kid." I say.

"What?" Melissa asks shocked.

"My dad used to abuse me." I quietly say.

"What about your sisters and brother?"

"He never laid a hand on them." I say with disgust.

"Why did he do it?" Melissa asks.

"Because I'm the screw up. In his eyes I couldn't do anything right."

"That's no reason to hit a child." Melissa says.

"I know." I say.

Melissa says nothing and just looks at me. What is she thinking? Is she thinking I'm going to be the same way when our child comes along? Is she feeling pity for me? Or is there something else?

I just give up trying to figure out what she may be thinking.

"We should get to work." I say.

"Yeah." Melissa says.

I turn and walk out of the room. I head downstairs and head out the door. I get in my car and start it. Melissa gets in and we drive off. We get to work and I park the car.

We get out and head into work. We get things set up and get to work. Things go smoothly until school gets out. Once school gets out things get crazy. Jessie comes in alone and sits at the booth the gang usually sits at.

I walk over to her.

"Can I get you anything, Jessie?" I ask.

"Yes. I'd like a burger, fries, and a chocolate shake." Jessie says.

"Ok, I'll be right back with that." I say.

"Thanks."

I nod my head and walk off. I get to the kitchen and give them her order.

"Hurry up, I've got people waiting Max." Someone says.

I turn and see Emma standing there.

"Watch your mouth young lady, I'm your boss." I say.

"I can't stand this job." Emma says.

"So quit. But if you do just remember this."

"What's that?" Emma asks.

"If you quit you're not living under my roof anymore." I say.

"Fine, I'll stay. I'll just wait quietly." Emma says.

Someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn and see Ella.

"Max, your order's up." She says.

"Thanks." I say.

She hands it to me and I walk off. I walk over to Jessie's table and give her, her food.

"Thanks Max." Jessie says.

"You're welcome." I say and walk off.

I take orders from a few more tables. I get them their food. About an hour later I see Jessie still sitting at the table reading something and listening to her walkman. I walk over to the table to take her trash and give her the check. That's when I see she hasn't even touched her food.

"Jessie." I say.

I get no answer.

"Jessie!" I shout.

She takes off her headphones and looks at me.

"Sorry Max." She mumbles.

"You haven't touched your food." I say.

"I guess I got so wrapped up in studying that I forgot to eat." Jessie says.

I notice she's talking rather rapidly. I take a seat across from her.

"Are you feeling ok?" I ask.

"I'm fine, why do you ask?" Jessie asks.

"You're talking rapidly and then there's the fact that you didn't eat." I say.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yes."

"You know you can tell me if something's bothering you." I say.

"Well, the thing is, I've been so worried about doing well on some tests that I haven't been sleeping well." Jessie admits.

"You need to start sleeping better or you really won't do well."

"It's no problem Max, I've found a solution." Jessie says.

"Like what?" I ask puzzled.

Jessie opens her backpack and pulls out a white plastic bottle. She looks at it for a moment and then hands it to me. I take it from her and look at it. It's a bottle of caffeine pills. I set the bottle on the table and look Jessie in the eyes.

"Caffeine pills?" I ask.

Jessie gives a nod of her head as an answer.

"Jessie, I'm surprised with you, getting messed up with drugs. That's not like you at all." I say.

"But they're not drugs Max." Jessie says.

"They may not be illegal drugs, but they are still drugs."

"I need them."

"You need them?" I ask.

"I can't study if I don't take them."

"Jessie, you're addicted to them. You need to stop taking them or you could get hurt." I say.

"I won't get hurt." Jessie quietly says.

"Those things will ruin your health, or worse, you could end up dead."

"I won't end up dead Max, I know what I'm doing."

"Jessie, listen to yourself. You're starting to sound like me and Emma." I say.

Jessie puts her head in her hands and starts to cry.

"Oh God, you're right Max." Jessie sobs.

I stand up and walk over to where she's sitting. I sit down next to her and put my arm around her. She puts her head on my shoulders and continues to cry.

"Jessie, I don't want to see you end up like my brother. He got messed up with some pretty nasty stuff that nearly killed him." I say.

"I don't want to end up like that." Jessie says.

"Then stop taking the pills and get some help."

"I will, thanks Max."

"You're welcome." I say and let her go.

She picks up her head and I slide out of the booth. I stand up and start cleaning up the table. Jessie grabs her stuff and stands up. She walks out and I finish cleaning off the table. The rest of my shift goes quickly and I head home with Melissa and Emma.

Melissa and Emma head upstairs with me following them. Melissa heads to our room and Emma heads to her room. I head to the bedroom and find the bathroom door closed. I hear the water running in the shower.

'_Great, I need to get ready for bed.'_ I think.

I walk out of the room and head down the hall to the other bathroom. I find the door closed when I get there. I knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Emma asks.

"It's me, open up." I say.

The door opens and I see Emma staring at me. I know what she was about to do. She was getting ready to cut herself. She backs up and I walk in. When I do I see the razor blade in her hand.

"You weren't thinking about cutting yourself, were you?" I ask.

"I…" Emma says.

"Give me the blade." I say cutting her off.

I see the light glinting off the blade, taunting me. Emma looks at me then drops the blade in the trash.

"Now, go to bed." I say.

"Yes Max." She quietly says.

She walks past me and I turn around. I watch her walk into her room. I walk out of the bathroom shutting out the light. I head back into my room. By the time I get there Melissa is in bed.

I walk into the bathroom and shut the door. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror over the sink. I see dark circles under my eyes from not sleeping well. I change into my pajamas and head back into the bedroom. I walk over to my side of the bed and lay down.

I take off my glasses, set them on the table and cover myself. I close my eyes and fall asleep.


	11. Photographs And Memories

**Authors Note: I do not own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters. They belong to NBC and the writers of the show. I have simply borrowed them for my story. I only own my OC's. The story and ideas in it also belong to me. In this chapter I have revealed that Max was abused by his dad as a kid and that he was also a drunk and pot head as a teen and he is also a recovering anorexic. I'm not implying in any way that Ed Alonzo was abused as a kid, is/was a drunk/pot head, or that he was anorexic when he was on the show, that wasn't my intent at all, so no disrespect to Ed if he happens to find this story somehow. Chapter title comes from the Jim Croce song of the same name.**

_'Photographs and memories, Christmas cards you sent to me. All that I have are these to remember you.'-Photographs And Memories-Jim Croce._

**Chapter 11: Photographs And Memories**

I lay in bed for a few minutes after Max has fallen asleep. I try to sleep, but it's no use, I've got too much on my mind. I throw off the covers and get out of bed. I walk out of the room and head downstairs. I walk into the living room and sit down on the couch.

As I do I see a box labeled pictures sitting on the table in front of the couch. I pick up the box and take off the lid. I pull out a few pictures. In the top one I see a smiling teenage Max and a girl who I believe is Maxine. I can tell just by looking at this picture that Max's smile is fake.

It's like he was hiding all the pain he had faced in his life at that point. I put the picture down and look at the next one. It appears to be a family photo. Max is smiling, Maxine is standing next to him also smiling, Ella is kneeling in front of Max with a smile on her face, next to Ella is a young man who must be Max's brother, he's also smiling, behind Max is a woman who must be Max's mom, and next to his mom is a man who's face has been blacked out. If I had to guess, I'd say that the man with the blacked out face is Max's dad.

I flip through the rest of the photos. I notice that all of the ones that have Max's dad in them have his face blacked out. I come across a picture with Max's dad in it that doesn't have the face blacked out. His parents are smiling and holding a baby each. By looking at this picture, I can see that Max looks very much like his mom.

'_How cute, it's Max's baby picture.' _I think.

I'm brought back to my senses by the phone ringing. I put the pictures back in the box and reach over to answer the phone. By the time my hand touches the phone it's stopped ringing.

'_Must have been a wrong number.'_ I think.

I put the lid back on the box and put it back on the table. As I do, Max comes running down the stairs. He's dressed in a red t-shirt, blue jeans, and white sneakers. He comes into the living room.

"Melissa, get dressed, we need to get to the hospital." Max says.

"Why, what happened?" I ask puzzled.

"That was Slater who called, Jessie's in the hospital. She overdosed on caffeine pills."

"Is she ok?" I ask.

"I don't know, Slater didn't tell me much."

"Why did he call you?"

"He said he found a note telling him to call me."

"Strange." I say.

"Very." Max says agreeing with me.

I get up off the couch and walk out of the living room. I walk upstairs. As I go to walk into the bedroom Emma walks out of her room.

"Melissa, what's going on?" Emma asks.

"Jessie's in the hospital. She overdosed on caffeine pills." I say.

"Is she ok?"

"I don't really know, Slater didn't tell Max much."

"I'm coming with you guys." Emma says as she disappears into her room.

I head into the bedroom and get myself dressed. I walk out and head downstairs. I see Emma and Max waiting by the front door. I walk over to them and we walk out the door. We walk over to Max's car and get in.

Max starts the car and we drive off. We get to the hospital and Max parks the car. We get out and head into the hospital. When we walk in we see Slater waiting for us.

"How is she?" Max asks.

"Stable and lucky to be alive." Slater says.

"Can we see her?" Emma asks.

"Yes, but she really only wants to see Max and Melissa."

Max and I look at each other puzzled. Why would Jessie only want to see us? I would think she'd want to see her friends. My thoughts are interrupted by Slater talking.

"Come on, I'll take you to her." Slater says.

He walks off and Max and I follow him. He takes us to Jessie's room. Slater knocks on the door.

"Who's there?" Jessie asks.

"Jess, it's Slater. I brought Max and Melissa." Slater says.

"Send them in." Jessie says.

Max opens the door and walks in. I follow him in shutting the door behind me. We walk over to the chairs by Jessie's bed and sit down.

"Jessie, what happened?" Max asks.

"I don't know. After I talked to you, nothing seemed to matter anymore." Jessie says.

"That's no reason to attempt suicide." Max says.

"Max, you're the closest thing to a big brother that I have, I felt like I was letting you down."

"I thought you had a brother." I say.

"I do, but he's in New York with my dad."

"So, Max is the closest thing you have that is anything like family." I say.

"Yes, and you're the closest thing I have to a sister." Jessie says.

"I'm flattered that you think of me like that Jessie." Max says.

"I know you have a family Max, but I'm not trying to replace them."

"I really only have one member of my family that cares about me, and that's Ella."

This gets me thinking about my own sister. I have to call her sometime and find out how she's doing. Actually, I should find out how my parents are doing. I really miss them. I'm brought from my thoughts by Jessie speaking.

"Melissa, are you ok?" Jessie asks.

"Sort of." I say.

"What's wrong?" Jessie asks puzzled.

"All this talk of family got me thinking of those I left behind."

"Your parents?" Max asks.

"Yes, but I was also thinking about my sister." I quietly say.

"You have a sister?" Max asks shocked.

"Yes, she's the same age as Jessie."

"I'm sure it's hard for you to be away from her." Jessie says.

"It is. I keep hoping she won't make the same mistakes I did." I say.

"What do you mean by that?" Jessie asks.

"Getting in a fight with our parents and then running off without resolving it." I say.

"There has to be more then that." Max says.

"Max, I don't want to talk about it."

"It can't be that bad, can it?" Max asks.

"I said, I don't want to talk about it."

"If someone hurt you, you need to tell me." Max says.

"What don't you understand about, 'I don't want to talk about it'?" I angrily ask.

"Melissa, calm down, he was just trying to help." Jessie says.

"I'm sorry, but what Max is asking me about is a bit sensitive." I say.

"I'm sure it is, but if someone did in fact hurt you, you need to tell someone."

I look from Jessie to Max and then look at the floor. I can't tell anyone this, not even Max. But I feel like if I don't tell him I could lose him forever. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly trying to calm myself.

"I made a mistake when I was 18. I slept with a boy I thought I loved and ended up pregnant." I quietly say looking back at Jessie.

"Is that why you really came out here?" Max asks.

"No, I really did come out here to go to Cal U." I say.

"So, what happened to the baby?" Jessie asks.

"I had a miscarriage when I was about three months along."

Max takes my hand in his and gives it a gentle squeeze.

"I don't want you to lose our child." Max says.

"Don't worry, the doctor said they're perfectly healthy." I say.

"They?" Max asks puzzled.

"Yes they. I'm having twins."

"Boys or girls?" Jessie asks.

"Both."

"I think I've already got names picked out for them." Max says.

"Oh, and what are they?" I ask.

"I want the girl to be Maxine after my sister, and the boy will be Maxwell after me."

"Your name is really Maxwell?" Jessie asks shocked.

"Yes, it is." Max says.

"Why shorten it to Max?" Jessie asks.

"For the same reason you shorten Jessica to Jessie. It's a nickname. I've had it since I was a kid."

"I think there's more to it than that." Jessie says.

"I was only ever called Maxwell when I was in trouble with my parents, teachers, or if some bully wanted a piece of me." Max says with a sigh.

"Did you get beaten up by bullies a lot?" Jessie asks.

Max gives a nod of his head as an answer.

"How bad was it?" I ask.

"Pretty bad. My junior year of high school some jerk beat me up pretty bad. He split my lip, broke my nose, gave me a black eye, and busted my jaw." Max says.

"He broke your jaw?" Jessie asks shocked.

"Yes." Max says with a sigh.

"How awful." Jessie says.

"Seven years later and it's still not right." Max mumbles.

"What are you talking about?" I ask puzzled.

I can almost see the wheels in Max's head turning as he tries to come up with an answer.

"My jaw never healed right, it's still pretty messed up." Max says.

"I don't buy that." Jessie says.

"You're right. My jaw still isn't messed up, but I am."

"How so?" Jessie asks.

"You already know about my cutting problem, but the thing no one knows is, I'm a recovering anorexic." Max quietly says.

This comes as a shock to me. I thought he might be anorexic, but I didn't believe it.

"I'm shocked Max. I thought only girls were like that." Jessie says.

"Men can struggle with their weight just like women do, why can't they also be anorexic?" I ask.

"I never thought of that."

"It's ok Jessie." Max says.

"How do you cope with that?" Jessie asks.

"It's not easy, it's something I struggle with every day." Max says.

Jessie says nothing and takes Max's hand in hers. I see Max jump and tense when Jessie takes his hand. He looks like he's waiting for her to hit him.

"Max, is something wrong?" Jessie asks.

"No, why?" Max asks.

"You jumped and tensed up when I touched your hand." Jessie says.

"I don't want to talk about it." Max says.

"Did someone hurt you when you were a kid?" Jessie asks.

Max lets out a long sigh and then says, "I was abused by my dad as a kid."

"Max, I'm sorry, I didn't know." Jessie says.

"Not too many people know that." Max says.

"Why did he do it?" Jessie asks.

"He did it because I was the screw up in the family." Max says with disgust.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." Jessie says.

"It's fine, you didn't know." Max says.

Jessie says nothing and looks at Max sympathetically.

"I remember the day it started like it was yesterday." Max quietly says.

"How come?" Jessie asks.

"It's burned into my mind. I can't help but remember it whenever someone touches me a certain way."

Jessie is quiet, like she's taking everything in.

"It happened the first day of my senior year of high school. I got out of school and went to work at The Max, which was owned at the time by my mom. When I got home from work my dad's car was sitting in the drive." Max says.

"What happened next?" Jessie asks.

"When I got in the house, my dad was waiting. Apparently, he had quit his job as a taxi driver. He grabbed my by the collar of my t-shirt and dragged me into his study." Max says.

I can hear the fear in his voice while he's telling his story.

"Then what?" Jessie asks.

"He started yelling at me about not letting work get in the way of getting good grades. Then he started hitting me." Max says breaking down in tears.

"You don't have to go on with your story if you don't want to." Jessie says.

"I need to tell my story. It feels good to finally get this off my chest." Max quietly says.

"Go on when ever you're ready." I say.

Max takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly like he's trying to get ready for what he has to say.

"My dad's punches came hard and fast. I didn't have time to defend myself from them. One of his punches connected with my jaw and I dropped to the floor. After I hit the floor he started kicking me." Max says.

I hear the anger and rage in his voice.

"Oh God, how awful." Jessie says.

"He kicked my legs and chest. After he was done kicking my legs and chest, he started kicking my head. He kicked my head so hard that I blacked out." Max says.

"You're lucky he didn't kill you." I say.

"To this day, I still don't know if he did anything else to me after he knocked me unconscious. I have a feeling he may have, well, raped me, but I can't prove it." Max quietly says.

"What would you do if you found out he did do that?" Jessie asks.

"I don't know, but I'm sure I'd find out." Max says.

"Did anyone help you after your dad beat you up?"

"I don't remember. I spent the next couple of days after that happened in a bit of a fog. Much like I don't remember the accident that killed Maxine."

"You should have gotten help." I say.

"It wouldn't have helped, no one would listen. Besides, I found a solution to my problem." Max says.

"Cutting your arms?" I ask.

"There was that and I started drinking quite heavily and I was smoking pot just to forget the pain my dad was causing me."

"I thought you said you weren't drinking or high the night your sister died." Jessie says.

"What?" Max asks puzzled.

"You just said you started drinking and getting high when your dad would beat you up, so I figured that you were still drinking and smoking pot around the time your sister died."

"I was, but I cleaned up my act a couple days before the dance. I didn't want to show up to my prom drunk and stoned out of my mind." Max says.

"Do you still drink or get high?" I ask.

"Sometimes, but it's been a few years since I last got high." Max admits.

I see this funny look in Jessie's eyes. It's like she's thinking Max is some kind of hypocrite or something. I'm pretty sure I overheard Max saying something to her about doing drugs earlier today at The Max.

"If you did drugs, why did you give me a lecture about taking the caffeine pills?" Jessie asks.

"Jess, I know what drugs can do to a person. I didn't want to see you end up like me, or my brother for that matter." Max says.

"What do you mean by that?" Jessie asks puzzled.

"There were days I was so drunk or high, I didn't know what was going on around me. If I wasn't drunk, I was high. Sometimes I was drunk and high at the same time."

"So, you just self-destructed." I say.

"Yes. You see, I didn't have someone like myself giving me advice. I had no one."

"So, that's why you're always giving us advice. You don't want us to end up like you, you want us to have someone." Jessie says.

"Yes. I want you guys to come to me when you have a problem. Think of me as a big brother and friend, and not as an 'adult'." Max says.

"Max, I've thought of you as a brother since we met. I really can't think of you any other way."

"Thanks." Max says with a sigh.

"I just don't understand one thing." I say.

"What's that?" Max asks.

"You claimed you wanted to sell The Max because you were sick, but I'm sure it was more along the lines of, you just wanted out because it was too much for you, right?" I ask.

"My other reason for wanting to sell was, I want to get clean before our kids are born." Max says.

"But you didn't even know I was pregnant then." I say.

"Actually, I wanted to get clean for myself. I'm tired of not being able to remember what I did the day before."

"How long have you spent in a drunken stupor?" Jessie asks.

"The last six years. Or should I say, on and off for the last six years."

"Why do it?" I ask.

"I wanted to forget every bad thing that ever happened to me."

Jessie and I silently take this all in.

"I would drink, go to work, go home, and drink some more. I would drink until I passed out. When I woke up in the morning I would either be on the floor or draped over my bed." Max quietly says.

"Did you ever wake up somewhere other than home?" I ask.

"A few times. I would go to a bar and pick up some woman and go home with her. Then I would wake up the next morning not knowing who she was or how I got there." Max admits.

"Please tell me you never had sex with them." I say.

"I was usually too drunk to do anything except pass out." Max says.

"When was the last time you got drunk?" I ask.

"A little over a month ago. The day I found out I was about to lose everything I worked so hard for just pushed me over the edge. I drank for three days straight and wasn't completely sober when we held the radio fundraiser."

"Why destroy your life like that?" Jessie asks.

Max gives a shrug of his shoulders as an answer.

"We should go Max, I'm sure Jessie wants some rest." I say.

"I'll talk to you guys later." Jessie says.

"Later." Max mumbles and stands up.

I stand up and say goodbye to Jessie. Max and I walk out of the room and head to the lobby. Emma walks over to us and we leave. We head home and go to bed. I wake up the next morning and find a note from Max saying he went into work early and that I had the day off.

I get out of bed and get dressed. I walk downstairs and walk out the door. I walk over to my car and unlock the trunk. I pull out a box and close the trunk. Walking back to the house I remind myself to call home when I finish going through the box in my hands.

I walk into the house and shut the door. I walk into the living room and set the box on the couch. I sit down on the couch and pick up the phone. My fingers dial the number for The Max. The phone rings three times before someone picks up.

"Thank you for calling The Max, this is Ella, how may I help you?" The voice on the other end asks.

"Ella, it's Melissa, can I talk to Max?" I ask.

"Sure, hang on." Ella says.

I hear her set the phone down and yell for Max. Someone picks up the phone.

"This is Max." They say.

"Hey Max, I'm calling to find out how you're doing." I say.

"Melissa, I'm fine. I came to work to get a few things done." Max says.

"Oh, have you seen Emma?" I ask.

"Yes, she's with me."

"And Erica?"

"Erica is living with my parents for a while."

"Ok, then." I say.

"She'll be fine." Max says.

"Well, I have things to do, I'll talk to you later." I say.

"Talk to you later."

"I love you."

"Love you too. Bye."

"Bye." I say and hang up the phone.

I turn my attention to the box sitting next to me. I open the box and pull a few things out. I flip through the items in my hand. There are birthday and Christmas cards from my parents and sister from the time I started living in California until last year. I put the cards back in the box and put on the lid.

I pick up the phone and dial my parents number. The phone rings four times before someone picks up.

"Smith residence, this is Rick speaking." The voice on the other end says.

"Dad, it's Melissa." I say.

"So, how are you?" My dad asks.

"I'm fine. I'm three months pregnant with twins." I say.

"I hope you know who the father is this time." My dad says.

"I do. It's Max, my boss."

"You slept with your boss?" My dad asks shocked.

"Yes, I love him."

"Does he love you?"

"Yes, he does. He asked me to marry him."

"He probably only asked you to marry him because of the baby." My dad says.

"He didn't know about the baby when he asked me to marry him. He just found out about it yesterday." I say.

"Why did you wait to tell him?" My dad asks.

"Because, I wasn't sure if I was really pregnant. I only found out I was three days ago."

My dad lets out a long sigh.

"Anyway, that's not why I called." I say.

"Why did you call?" My dad asks.

"I called to say I was sorry for running off like I did. It was wrong of me."

"I accept your apology." My dad says.

"Can I talk to mom now?" I ask.

"Sure, just a second." My dad says.

He sets down the phone. A few minutes later someone picks up.

"Melissa, this is your mother." They say.

"Hi mom." I say.

"How are you?" My mom asks.

"I'm fine. I'm pregnant."

"Do you know who the father is?"

"Yes, the father is Max, my boss."

"You slept with your boss?" My mom asks shocked.

"Yes, I love him." I say.

"Does he love you?"

"Yes, he asked me to marry him."

"Are you sure he didn't do that just because of the baby?"

"He didn't know about it when he asked, he just found out yesterday."

"Why did you wait so long to tell him?" My mom asks.

I'm about to answer when my mom starts talking again.

"I mean you should have told him sooner. You don't want a repeat of what happened with Chris, do you?"

"There won't be a repeat of what happened with Chris. Unlike Chris' baby, there is nothing wrong with Max's child. Therefore, I won't have a miscarriage." I say.

"That's not what happened and you know it." My mom says.

"Yes it is. Besides, you weren't there, so how would you know?" I ask.

"I know enough. I know what Chris told me."

"Chris wasn't even there, so how would he know?"

"Who's Chris?" Someone asks.

I turn and see Max leaning against the wall. His left arm is in a sling and there's a bandage around his hand.

"Mom, I've got to go. Max just got home." I say.

"Ok, I'll talk to you later." My mom says.

"Yeah, later."

"Bye."

"Bye." I say and hang up the phone.

"Max, what happened?" I ask.

"I'll tell you after you answer my questions." Max says.

"Sit down and I'll tell you." I say.

Max walks over to the other couch and sits down with a painful sigh.

"So, who's Chris?" Max asks.

"Chris was the boy I slept with in high school. I thought I loved him and ended up pregnant."

"What really happened to that baby?"

I let out a long sigh. What happened to that baby is none of Max's business. It wasn't even his child, so why is he so worried? Yes, I did have a miscarriage and that's how I lost it.

"I had a miscarriage. There was something wrong with it that caused me to lose it." I quietly say.

"I see." Max says.

"Although, my mom seems to think otherwise."

"What do you mean?" Max asks puzzled.

"My mom seems to think I had an abortion." I say.

"Did you?"

"No, I'd never do something like that. Unless I had a good reason to."

"What would be your reason for having one?"

"I'd only have one if I was told that having a child would kill me." I say.

"I guess that's a good reason." Max says.

"So, what happened to you?" I ask.

"It's Emma's fault."

"At the mention of her name Emma walks into the living room.

"It is not, at least not all of it." Emma says.

"That doesn't answer my question. What happened?" I ask.

"Well, I caught Emma in my office about to cut herself, and without thinking I reached for the razor blade in her hand. She pulled it away cutting the top of my hand. I got mad and grabbed the blade from her hand and cut my palm in the process." Max says.

"That doesn't explain why your arm is in a sling." I say.

"I went into the kitchen to get a towel to wrap around my hand and I slipped on some grease and broke my arm." Max says.

"Are you going to be ok?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I got three stitches in both the top and palm of my hand, it's a bit sore, but I'll live."

"Emma, you're grounded, now go to your room." I say.

"But I didn't do anything wrong!" Emma shouts.

"You didn't do anything wrong? For crying out loud, you hurt Max!" I shout.

"I didn't mean to." Emma says.

"You hurt him by not only 'accidentally' cutting his hand, but by nearly breaking your promise to him." I say.

"Max, I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted, now go to your room." Max says.

Emma turns and walks out of the room. She walks upstairs and I hear her bedroom door slam.

"And as for you Max, you need to grow up." I say.

"What do you mean by that?" Max asks.

"You're not 18 anymore, you can't just expect every kid you try to help to just accept it."

"Most of those kids want my help."

"No, they don't. You don't hear what's being said behind your back." I say.

"What are they saying?" Max asks.

"They think you're creepy. I've heard a few kids say you're a pedophile or that there's something wrong with you mentally." I say.

"I'm none of those things. I'm a perfectly normal person." Max says.

"Then grow up and act like one. Don't just give out advice, wait until you're asked."

"You're right." Max says with a sigh.

"I'm just looking out for you." I say.

"Sure." Max says.

"I don't want one of those kids to push you over the edge."

"What do you mean?" Max asks puzzled.

"I don't want to see you drink yourself to death, or worse, you cut yourself and go a little too far and end up dead." I say.

"I don't want that to happen either. That's why I want to get clean." Max says.

"There is one other thing."

"What's that?" Max asks.

"I want you to cut back your work hours once the baby comes." I say.

"Why?"

"Because, I don't want you to miss out on their lives."

"I don't want to miss out on that either." Max says.

"So, you'll cut back?" I ask.

"As much as I can." Max says.

"Good. Now, I'm going to bed, are you coming?" I ask.

"I'll be up a bit later, I have a couple things I need to do."

"Ok, good night." I say.

"Goodnight." Max says.

I stand up and walk out of the room. I walk upstairs and head into the bedroom. I walk into the bathroom and get changed. I head back into the bedroom. I walk over to the bed and get in.

I lay down with a sigh. I mentally go over the days events. I remind myself to call home again tomorrow so I can talk to my sister. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep. It's no use because my mind is racing.

I try counting sheep, but that doesn't help. Finally I think about mentally saying my favorite song lyrics over and over. That works and I fall asleep thinking about all the good things that happened to me today.


	12. Rescue Me

**Author's Note: I don't own Saved By The Bell or any of the characters. They belong to NBC and the writers of the show, I have simply borrowed them for my story. My story and the ideas in it belong to me. I also own my OC's. I'm sorry I took so long to update this, but work got in the way. In this chapter I wrote that Slater's dad abuses him. Now, I know as far as the show goes that's not true, but I needed to write that in so I could flesh out Slater's character a bit more, and so that I could flesh out Max a bit more. Please read and review.**

_'Rescue me the middle of the ocean. Crashing down, it's always hard to breathe. Some say it's easier to give up on it. I say it's time to rescue me.'-Rescue Me-Daughtry_

**Chapter 12: Rescue Me**

I sit on the couch after Melissa has gone to bed thinking about what she said. Am I really like the kids think? I know somewhere deep in my heart I'm a normal person. I'm not a pedophile, there's nothing wrong with me mentally, and I know I'm not creepy. If I'm not like that then why do the kids shy away from me?

Whatever their reasons are I need to know. I get up off the couch and walk into the dining room. I walk over to the cabinet where I keep my stash of booze hidden and open it. I pull out a few bottles and close the cabinet. I walk back into the living room and sit down on the couch.

Setting the bottles on the table, I begin to pray that Melissa doesn't wake up and catch me drinking. I take one of the bottles and open it. I throw the cap on the floor and take a drink from the bottle. The burn as the alcohol slides down my throat comforts me. I down the bottle and throw it on the floor.

I open the second bottle and start on it. I make quick work of the bottle. Tossing the empty bottle on the floor I open the third one. I make quick work of this one as well. By the time I finish the bottle I'm feeling no pain.

I feel nothing. All I feel is numb. I throw that bottle on the floor and open the last one. I toss the cap on the floor and make quick work of the last bottle. I know I should have brought a few more, but I could only carry four with my arm in a sling.

I get up off the couch and sway on my feet. I start walking into the dining room. I don't make it and pass out on the floor. I wake up the next morning to someone shaking me.

"Max, what the hell is going on here?" Melissa asks.

"I was drinking last night, or couldn't you tell?" I ask, my words slightly slurred.

"You're drunk?" Melissa asks shocked.

"Yes." I say.

"God Max, what am I going to do with you?"

"I don't know, and for that matter, I don't really care!" I shout.

"My God, just listen to yourself." Melissa says.

"Leave me the hell alone!"

"No, we need to talk."

"About what?" I ask puzzled.

"The pictures I found in the basement."

"What pictures would those be? I have hundreds down there." I say.

"The ones of the high school kids."

"They were extras from when I did the yearbook photos."

"I noticed that they're all of Zack and his friends." Melissa says.

"So?" I ask.

"Don't you think it's strange?" Melissa asks.

"No, I don't think it's strange at all." I say.

"Why?"

"I don't think it's strange because I'm making a personalized scrapbook for them as a graduation gift."

"Max, that's so sweet of you." Melissa says.

Now I'm confused, first she was basically accusing me of bring a pedophile, now she thinks what I'm doing is sweet. What is going on with her?

"Melissa, are you feeling ok?" I ask.

"Yes, why?" Melissa asks.

"Because you were just acting strange and you had me worried." I say.

"I'm sorry Max. My hormones are a bit out of whack because I'm pregnant." Melissa says.

"I see." I say.

I sit up and look at Melissa.

"Max, I still don't think it's normal for you to have pictures of Zack and his friends." Melissa says.

"I already told you what I'm doing with them."

"If that's what you're really doing with them, then why do some of them look like they were taken at The Max?" Melissa asks.

"Because I took a few photos of them there." I say.

"Why?"

"They asked me to."

"And you never gave them their pictures?"

"I did give them the pictures. I just saved copies for my project."

"I still don't think this is normal." Melissa says.

"Melissa, I have hundreds of pictures of other things, like flowers for example. Does having pictures of flowers suddenly make me gay?" I ask.

"No."

"So, why would having a few photos of Zack and his friends make me strange?"

"Because you're a grown man and they're teenagers." Melissa says.

"So, you're saying I'm a pedophile because I have pictures of them?" I ask.

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all."

"Then what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that obsessing over some high school kids is not normal or healthy."

"I'm not obsessed with them, I care about them." I say.

"You care about them?" Melissa asks puzzled.

"Yes, I mean take Zack. He's an only child, both parents work and don't ever seem to have time for him. He comes to me looking for help with his problems."

"And what about Slater?"

"I'm sure Slater's dad cares about him, but he comes to me because his dad doesn't listen to him, which I know quite well."

"I'm sure Slater's dad listens to him." Melissa says.

"Actually, he doesn't. Slater told me that anytime he tries to talk to his dad he gets the cold shoulder. Like he doesn't want to talk. I'm the only one who he can talk to that will listen."

"What do they talk about?" Melissa asks.

"Zack wants advice about girls, and Slater wants advice about girls and sports. Among other things." I say.

"There has to be more to it than that." Melissa says.

"Jessie has come to me with her problems as well."

"What does she talk about?" Melissa asks.

"She wants to get good grades." I say.

"She told you more than that, didn't she?"

"Yes, she did. But I won't say what it is."

"Why?" Melissa asks puzzled.

"She made me swear not to tell anyone about it." I quietly say.

"I wonder why?"

"It's personal."

"What are you not telling me?"

"I told you, I can't say." I say.

"Please tell me." Melissa says.

"No. If Jessie wants you to know, she'll tell you."

"You're hiding something and I don't like it."

If I tell Melissa what I know, I'll lose Jessie's trust in me, and I don't want that. But if I don't tell Melissa, I'll lose her trust. It's a no win situation. You want to know what Jessie told me, don't you? Jessie told me that she was raped by her brother when she was younger.

I have a feeling that this along with taking the pills are what fueled her suicide attempt yesterday.

"Melissa, I'm sorry, I can't tell you what happened. I don't want to break Jessie's trust in me." I say.

"Max, please." Melissa says.

"No, I won't do it." I say and stand up.

I walk out of the room and head upstairs. I walk down the hall to Emma's room. I knock on the door.

"Emma, open up!" I shout.

"I'm coming!" Emma shouts.

The door opens and I see Emma looking at me.

"What do you want Max?" Emma asks.

"Get dressed for work." I say.

"Are you kidding? It's Saturday." Emma says.

"You're going to work and that's an order."

"You can't make me go."

"Yes I can. I'm your boss." I say.

"That's so unfair."

"Life's unfair, what's your point?" I ask.

"I guess I don't have one." Emma says with a pout.

"Good, now get dressed and meet me downstairs."

"Fine." Emma says and goes to close the door.

"There is one other thing." I say.

"What's that?" Emma asks.

"You're on dish duty for a month."

"What?" Emma asks shocked.

"You heard me." I say.

"But Max…" Emma says.

"No buts. And if I hear from Ella that you tried to cut yourself, you're going to have to start looking for somewhere else to live." I say cutting her off.

"You told Ella?" Emma asks puzzled.

"No, she saw the scars on your arms and figured it out herself."

"How?"

"She's seen my arms, so she knows what self harm scars look like." I quietly say.

"Did she catch you cutting yourself?"

"No, she saw the aftermath though."

"What do you mean?"

"I was in my office and I had just cut my arms when Ella started knocking on the door wanting answers from me. I cleaned myself up and told her to come in. Apparently I didn't do that good of a job because she saw the blood on my hands and questioned me about it. I tried to make up some excuse, but she saw through it. So, I showed her my arms." I say.

"How did she take it?" Emma asks.

"Not well. She asked how I could do something like that to myself."

"Why do you do it?"

"I already told you why."

"I don't think what you told me is the real reason." Emma says.

"My reasons are my own, just like your reasons are your own." I say.

"Max, please tell me." Emma says.

"Don't push me Emma."

"What?" Emma asks.

"I said, don't push me."

"Why?"

"I won't be held responsible for my actions if you do push me."

"Are you saying you'd hit me?" Emma asks shocked.

"I was raised to never hit a woman." I say.

"So, what would you do?"

"Yell and scream at you, but nothing more."

"I think there's more to it than that." Emma says.

"Look Emma, it's something I don't want to talk about."

"Someone hurt you when you were younger, didn't they?" Emma asks.

"I don't want to talk about it, now get ready for work." I say.

"Fine." Emma grumbles and shuts the door.

I turn and head back down the hall. I get to my room and walk in. I shut the door and get myself ready for work. I finish getting ready and leave my room. Walking downstairs I see Emma and Melissa waiting for me.

I get downstairs and walk over to Melissa. I take a long look at her. Her red t-shirt is tucked into her jeans, hugging her stomach. It looks like her shirt is a bit tight. I can see her baby bump under her shirt.

"Max, what are you looking at?" Melissa asks.

"You're showing." I say.

"I didn't think I'd start showing this soon." Melissa says.

"You're pregnant with twins, what did you expect?" I ask.

"I guess I was expecting it to take longer."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, you still look good." I say.

"No, I don't, I look fat."

"No, you don't. You look beautiful to me."

"Max…" Melissa says.

"Melissa, don't argue with me, you won't win." I say cutting her off.

"Fine." Melissa grumbles.

"Now, let's get to work." I say.

We leave the house and get in my car. Melissa starts it and we drive off. We get to The Max and Melissa parks the car. We get out and go into work. We get things set up and I head back to my office.

I sit down at my desk and get started on some paperwork. Sometime around noon Melissa comes into my office.

"Max, we're a bit busy, I need some help." Melissa says.

"I'll help as much as I can." I say.

"You can just take orders."

"True."

I stand up and walk out of my office. I go around taking orders from the tables. Around 3 Slater comes in. He heads over to the booth the gang usually sits at. I walk over to where he's sitting.

"Can I get you anything Slater?" I ask.

"No thanks Max, I'm not hungry." Slater says.

His head is in his hands and he sounds like he's been crying.

"Is everything ok?" I ask concerned.

"Yes, no, I don't know." Slater says.

I take a seat across from him.

"What's eating you?"

"It's nothing."

"You know you can tell me anything." I say.

Slater says nothing and picks up his head. He lays his arms on the table and looks at me. I see his face for the first time since he walked in. Someone or something has given him a black eye.

"Who gave you the black eye?" I ask.

"My dad." Slater quietly says.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess I pissed him off."

"That's no reason to hit anyone." I say.

"The funny thing is, this isn't the first time he's hit me." Slater says.

"What are you saying Slater? Are you telling me your dad abuses you?" I ask.

"I don't want to talk about it Max. You wouldn't understand." Slater says.

"I wouldn't understand?" I ask puzzled.

"I doubt you would, since you weren't abused as a kid."

"Slater, my dad beat the crap out of me when I was 18. He kept it up until I moved out at 20." I say.

"Max, I'm sorry. I didn't know." Slater says.

"Not many people do."

"Did you ever tell anyone?" Slater asks.

"No. I had no one to tell."

"You should have at least told a teacher." Slater says.

"Let me ask you something. Have you ever told anyone?" I ask.

"Other than you, no."

"You need to tell someone other than me." I say.

"I can't, no one will believe me."

"I believe you."

"You might be the only one."

"I think I know someone who can help." I say.

"Who?" Slater asks puzzled.

"I have a friend that runs a teen helpline. I think he might be able to help you."

"Who is he?" Slater asks.

"Come with me, I'll get you his number." I say.

I slide out of the booth and Slater follows me. We walk back to my office. I open the door and walk in with Slater following me. I sit down at my desk and open the drawer.

"Why do you have razor blades in your desk Max?" Slater asks puzzled.

"That's none of your business." I say as I rummage through the drawer.

I find what I'm looking for and shut the drawer.

"Come on you can tell me." Slater says.

"I told you Slater, that's none of your business." I say as I hand him the card in my hand.

Slater takes the card from me and looks at it.

"Thanks Max."

"No problem. I'm happy to help." I say.

Slater sits down on the chair by my desk.

"Did you need something else?" I ask.

"I need to talk to you." Slater says.

"About what?" I ask puzzled.

"You. What are you hiding?" Slater asks.

"I'm not hiding anything." I say.

"Come on Max, I know you're hiding something. I saw some scars on your arms last month." Slater says.

"They're from the accident that killed my twin sister." I say.

"You had a twin sister?" Slater asks shocked.

"Yes, she died six years ago. We were hit by a drunk driver."

"Max, I'm sorry. I didn't know." Slater says.

"It's ok."

"So, the accident left you scarred and you hide it."

"You could say that." I quietly say.

"If that's not it, what are you hiding?" Slater asks.

"I hide a lot of things Slater." I say.

"Why are you covering your arms, aside from being a magician?"

I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. I don't want to tell Slater my secret. But I know if I don't tell him, he may never trust me again.

"The scars on my arms are all self inflicted." I say.

"You cut yourself?" Slater asks.

"Yes, that's why I keep a box of razor blades in my desk. I keep them there to take care of my 'pain'."

"When did you start cutting yourself?"

"I started when I was 15. That's when I started cutting my legs."

"Your legs?" Slater asks puzzled.

"Yes, I started there because it was easy to hide. I was always wearing jeans." I say.

"When did you move to your arms?"

"When I was 18. The day my dad started using me as his punching bag." I say.

"I know how you feel." Slater quietly says.

"I don't think you truly know how I feel Slater."

"Try me Max."

"It started with my dad punching me. If his punches would knock me to the floor, he'd start kicking me. What he did next would depend on if he knocked me out or not. If he knocked me out, he'd leave me alone, but if he didn't knock me out he'd make me wish he had." I say.

"What do you mean?" Slater asks.

"He'd rape me."

"Gee, Max, I'm sorry." Slater says.

"Thanks." I quietly say.

Slater again looks at the card I handed him.

"So, I can call this number and talk to either one of these guys?" Slater asks.

"If Mike isn't there, someone else can help you." I say.

"Even this Max Detweiler guy?"

"You should be able to talk to anyone except him."

"Why?"

"Because he quit years ago." I say with a sigh.

I can't let Slater know that I'm Max Detweiler, or why I quit.

"Why'd he quit?" Slater asks.

"To this day no one really knows." I quietly say.

"Are you Max Detweiler?"

"I really wish you hadn't asked that." I say.

"Why?" Slater asks puzzled.

"Because I am Max Detweiler and what you're asking is bringing up painful memories."

"Max, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to drag that up." Slater says.

"It's ok Slater. There's no way you could have known." I say.

"So, why did you quit?" Slater asks.

"I had many reasons for quitting, but only one of them is the truth."

"So, what is it?"

"We had this regular caller I only knew as Dave. One night he called after his dad roughed him up quite badly. I urged him to get himself to a teen shelter as soon as he could because I was worried that his father was going to kill him." I say.

"So, what happened?" Slater asks.

"He kept calling, and every time he did I'd tell him to leave. Well, one night when I was working, after my dad had beaten and raped me, and made me wish I was dead. Dave called."

"Then what?"

"I had answered the phone and all I heard was screaming on the other end. I had Mike call the cops and send them to Dave's house, but all that was in vain." I quietly say.

"Why?" Slater asks puzzled.

"They were too late. While I was on the phone, Dave's dad beat him to death. I felt like I had failed him." I say.

"So, you quit?" Slater asks.

"I quit that night and got myself to a teen shelter. I took my own advice and got out before it was too late. I also gave up on my dream that night."

"What was your dream?"

"I was going to be a counselor in a hospital. I wanted to help kids, teens, and adults who were in the same situation that I had been in. I wanted to help them get out."

"So you just gave up on your dream and opened this place." Slater says.

"I didn't open this place, it was my mother's. I just took over." I say.

"But you still gave up on your dream, I mean, what happened to the guy who gave me advice last month?" Slater asks.

"It's not the same Slater."

"It is the same Max. I had given up on my dream, and you told me, 'If you want something bad enough, find a way to make it happen.' Well, I found a way to make what I wanted happen, why can't you?"

"Because, the time for me to make what I want happen is gone. I can't get it back."

"That shouldn't matter if you still want to achieve your dream." Slater says.

"While I do want to achieve my dream, I'm happy here." I say.

"Are you really?" Slater asks.

"Well no, but right now I have no other choice."

"What do you mean?"

"Slater, when I was living in that teen shelter, one of my counselors told me that sometimes God makes other plans for us when we're busy trying to reach our dreams." I say.

"So, because of that you gave up on your dream?" Slater asks puzzled.

"I spent two years living in that shelter. There were days when I wouldn't go back, so six months of that time was spent living on the street. I also had days when I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning."

"So, what did you do?"

"I'd get drunk or high just to deal with everything. Then one day I had a breakdown and everything went to hell."

"How did you deal with that?" Slater asks.

"Not well. I attempted suicide twice, and I threatened to kill myself twice." I admit.

"You what?" Slater asks shocked.

"The first time I tried to kill myself I overdosed on pain pills. The first of two I threatened to kill myself, I went to jump off a roof. The second time I put a gun to my head, I was going to blow my brains out. My second suicide attempt, I slit my wrists."

"Why do it?"

"I was desperate to make things right, and I thought that was the only way." I say.

"What happened after that?" Slater asks.

"I was committed to a mental hospital, but I didn't take that well."

"How come?"

"They locked me in a small room with no windows, and gave me all sorts of drugs that messed with my sleeping habits. Then one day I decided I'd had enough and tried leaving." I say.

"What happened?"

"Some doctors tackled me. They had me pinned to the floor. One of them had his legs around my waist and I freaked out."

"Why?"

"Because my dad used to do that to me. And the last time he did, he had me tied up." I quietly say.

"Max, I'm sorry." Slater says.

"Don't worry about it. I recovered from my ordeal."

"Yes, but you gave up on your dream."

"I may have given up on my dream, but I feel like I'm doing more good here." I say.

"How so?" Slater asks.

"If I can keep one of you guys from ending up like me, then I've done my job."

"Thanks Max." Slater says.

"No problem. Now don't give up on your dreams."

Slater stands up and goes to leave.

"Slater." I say.

"Yes?" Slater asks.

"On the back of the card I gave you is my home phone number and a direct line to my office here. Call me any time you need to talk."

"Thanks Max." Slater says and leaves.

I pick up the phone and dial the teem help line. The phone rings three times before someone answers.

"Thank you for calling the 'Teen Helpline', this is Mike, how can I help you?" They ask.

"Mike, it's Max." I say.

"Max who?" Mike asks puzzled.

"It's Max Detweiler, I used to work for you."

"Ah yes, now I remember." Mike says.

"I referred another kid to you."

"Thanks, hopefully we can help them."

"That's not why I called though." I say.

"Why'd you call?" Mike asks.

"I'm looking to get my job back."

"Max, I don't know." Mike says.

"I want to help."

"I guess I can use a hand."

"Thanks Mike, I owe you one." I say.

"You don't owe me anything. Just don't quit." Mike says.

"I won't, thanks again."

"Be here in an hour."

"Ok, bye." I say and bhang up the phone.

I stand up and leave my office. I do my work trying to kill an hour before I have to leave. That hour goes quickly and I head to the Teen Helpline building. I head in and am greeted by a young lady.

"Hi, I'm Ellen, can I help you?" She asks.

"Yes, my name's Max, I'm looking for Mike." I say.

"I'll take you to him, follow me." Ellen says and walks off.

I follow her down a couple hallways. We get to a door at the end of the hall and Ellen knocks on it.

"Who is it?" Comes the reply.

"Mike, it's Ellen. There's a man named Max here to see you." Ellen says.

"Send him in." Mike says.

Ellen opens the door and I walk into the office.

"Max, it's good to see you again." Mike says.

"Likewise." I say.

"Well, I guess I'll put you to work in the call center. Can you handle it?" Mike asks.

"I think so." I quietly say.

"You won't quit on me this time?"

"No, I won't. I made a mistake last time." I say.

"Ok then, come with me." Mike says.

He moves out from behind his desk and walks out the door. I follow him out and down the hallways. We get to the call center and Mike shows me my station.

"You know the drill, now get to work." Mike says.

"Right, will do." I say and take a seat.

Mike walks off. As soon as he does, the phones start ringing. I pick up the phone at my station.

"Teen Helpline, this is Max." I say.

"Max, my name's A.C. I need help." The voice on the other end says.

"Slater?" I ask puzzled.

"Yes, who is this?" Slater asks confused.

"It's Max. You know, the owner of The Max." I say.

"I thought you quit." Slater says.

"I had, but after talking to you today, I realized you were right. It's not too late for me to achieve my dream."

"Good for you Max."

"So, what can I help you with?" I ask.

"I need help dealing with my dad." Slater says.

"Did he hurt you again?"

"Yes." Slater quietly says.

"What did he do?" I ask.

"He punched me a few times."

"Anything else?"

"Somehow he knocked me to the ground and started kicking me."

"You need to get out. Find somewhere else to stay and don't go home until your dad gets counseling." I say.

"Max, that won't work, he'll find me." Slater says.

Mike walks over to me and clears his throat. I put the phone on my shoulder.

"Max, you've been on the phone with this kid for 45 minutes, is something wrong?" Mike asks.

"No, nothing's wrong." I say.

"Then why are you still on the phone with them?"

"Last time I checked we were supposed to keep them on the phone as long as they were willing to talk."

"True." Mike says.

"Besides, this is the kid I was telling you about on the phone. He trusts me." I say.

"Tell him to get down here so we can help."

"I don't know if he'll come."

"Just try." Mike says and walks away.

I put the phone back up to my ear and hear Slater crying on the other end. He stops crying and clears his throat.

"Max, is something wrong?" He asks.

"No, nothing's wrong." I say.

"Well, I've got to go now."

"Before you go, I have something to tell you."

"What's that?" Slater asks.

"You need to get down here so we can help you."

"I can't do that. My dad will kill me." Slater says.

"Just leave, he won't kill you." I say.

"You don't know my dad."

"Sneak out. Do whatever it takes."

"Have it your way." Slater grumbles.

"The address for this place is on the card I gave you. Good luck." I say.

"Thanks." Slater says.

I hear the click of the phone and hang up. The phone rings again. I pick it up.

"Teen Helpline, this is Max." I say.

Whoever is on the other end hangs up. I hang up the phone.

'If you don't stay on the line, I can't help you.' I think.

"Max, there's a kid here to see you." Mike says.

"Who is it?" I ask.

"He says his name is Slater."

"Ok, thanks."

I stand up and follow Mike to a room near his office. I knock on the door.

"Come in." Slater says.

I open the door and walk in with Mike following me. Slater is sitting at a table with his head in his hands. I walk over to the table and sit down. Mike shuts the door and sits down next to me.

"What happened?" I ask.

"I don't want to talk about it with him here." Slater says.

"He has to be here, it's policy."

"Why?" Slater asks puzzled.

"We need two people to verify the story just in case we have to call the cops." Mike says.

"Well, if those are the rules, then I guess I'm ok with it." Slater says.

"So, what happened?" I ask.

Slater starts telling his story. As he's describing what his dad did, my mind wanders to what my father did to me.

'_Get over here you lousy bastard!' My dad shouts._

_He grabs my shirt and pulls me closer to him. I try to wiggle away, but it's no use. He gives me a shake then lets me go. Soon, he starts punching me. His punches come from every direction. They come hard and fast._

_I really have no time to defend myself. His last punch connects with my jaw and I drop to the floor. After I fall to the floor, my dad starts kicking me. What he does next, I can't even bear to think about. It still makes me want to vomit._

I violently shudder.

"Max, are you ok?" Slater asks.

"No, I'm not ok." I say.

"What's wrong?"

"I was thinking about what my dad did to me."

"What did he do?" Mike asks.

"I can't say." I quietly say.

"Why?"

"Because not only did he physically abuse me, but he also sexually abused me."

"You need to talk about it and finally break your silence." Mike says.

"Fine." I reluctantly say.

"You'll feel better once you get it out." Slater says.

"I doubt that." I say.

"Why?" Mike asks puzzled.

"Because some of the things my dad did to me make me sick."

"Sick?" Slater asks puzzled.

"Anytime I even think about it I get violently ill." I say.

"How bad?" Mike asks.

"Six months ago I had this kid I was helping. His dad was doing the same thing my dad did to me, and it made me sick. I got so sick that I was in the hospital for a week." I quietly say.

"Maybe if you talk about it, you won't feel that way anymore." Mike says.

"Sure."

"This may come as a shock, but the fact that you've been keeping this bottled up for the last six years is what's making you sick."

"So, you're saying this is all in my head, right?" I ask.

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all." Mike says.

"Then what are you saying?"

"What I'm saying is, the stress of you keeping this inside for years is so bad that even thinking about what your dad is making you sick."

"He never wanted me to tell." I say.

"He can't hurt you now."

"I know that."

"So, tell your tale." Mike says.

"I can't." I say.

"Why?" Mike asks.

"I just can't."

"But why?"

"It's too painful." I say with a sigh.

"Max, just break the silence. You'll feel better." Slater says.

"Fine."

I start to tell my story. As I do, I start to realize that my father would bribe me to stay quiet. First it was a car, then it was magic sets, sometimes it was just money. How could he do that to me? Why did he do it?

Will I be the same way? I finish telling my story. It's met with silence from Slater and Mike.

"Why did I keep quiet for so long?" I ask.

"You were scared." Mike says.

I just nod my head. I stand up and leave the room in a daze. I walk down the hall and leave the building. Slowly I start my walk home. I get home and head right to bed.

I lay there thinking about what the next six months and at least eighteen years are going to hold for me and my family.


End file.
